Recent Entries

• Not what I should be

  October 29, 2024

  Maybe I jumped in to soon or maybe I'm overthinking it all again, but maybe I should have stayed away from going back to 7 Eleven. Don't get me wrong, when I ran the store it was still a mess, just not this bad. WTF did they do to my store. What a cluster I've…

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• You would think the day would have been different

  October 28, 2024

  First real day back at work and you would think I would feel awesome and want to talk about it, but you could be no further from the truth. I didn't really blow off my son, I just didn't want to talk about it. I went like you would think, 8 hours of over expectations…

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• I really sucks being sick alone

  October 26, 2024

  God it sucks getting sick when alone like this. So freaking cold and feverish I can't get to the store and ofcourse no one to go for me.  I guess it's good I had some forth sight and made enough food last night before waking up to this. I had plans with my one son…

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• No one left

  October 26, 2024

  It's after 11 and I've worked my list of go to people to talk to and quiet the everyday voices that pester the fuck out of me. My kids to hear about their day in short 1 to 2 word sentences and some of the most dismissive conversations to get me off the phone and…

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• Afternoons or whatever time it is

  October 24, 2024

  I've reached that time of day where I lock my door and wish the world away with forcing myself to sleep too early.  I'm not a total shut in. I was worse earlier this summer. I still have anxiety about everything. How does that happen so quickly? Came out of no where and pretty much…

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• Mentally I’m not ready

  October 23, 2024

  I'm not ready for work today. Dreams were filled with overwhelming overwork at the job I now have to go to work at.

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• These are the times that scare me

  October 19, 2024

  The quiet somewhat normal. That's what's going on. I "worked" today so I accomplished something. I just talked to my boys, well the ones with phones that is. I would have the youngest over if I actually had stuff and wasn't essentially trapped in by the neighbors shitty parking systle.. But these...

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• Breakfast

  October 19, 2024

  I don't normally eat breakfast but I also don't normally show up an hour early for a day long meeting either. I have the motivation for this job no doubt but I just don't want it. I spent probably the 4 most miserable hours last night I think I ever had a job .  Go…

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• I’m tired

  October 16, 2024

  I'm tired of looking for work. Why has it been such a headache this time around? Why or why couldn't i have gotten the full time Sherwin Williams job and not the part time, training when we get around to it convenience store job? After all these years of doing just that i am stuck…

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