#vent

I don't know how to start this but here goes nothing I guess. I wish I was the type of person who knew what motherly love felt like. I wish I didn't have to explain why I can't just ask my mum for things. I wish I didn't have to explain that she isn't dead…

It's rare that i feel clarity, my mind is always in some form of extreme emotion, as if I'm in constant fight or flight, I always feel intense anger within a split second, overwhelming sadness, stress and anxiety or just some form of extreme emotion. But right now, for the first time in years I&h...

I am a failure. I have never achieved anything notable in my life. My parents are ashamed of me and my sisters pity me. I have had so many opportunities for success but it feels as though there is an immovable force obstructing my path. I am truly a failure, I have nothing to show…

Fragile So small and so fragile, One small push and you break into a million pieces. So small, I easily step and look down at you with a cold hatred gaze while you lay there unable to do nothing, I overpower with ease after all I am bigger and stronger. So why? Why as I'm…

i try not to let little things get to me, but i must confess now that i am simply annoyed. my uncle came in the office and gave me a mean look as he walked away with one of the folders that had been sitting there for him to pick up. . . it's not…

Sometimes I feel like I’m the problem, y’know? I always say things I regret later on thinking it was just joking fun and games.. till someone that I did actually truly love (as a friend) left because of me.. it just feels like it’s all my fault and a really am trying not to cry…

i’m paranoid all the time. i don’t know if it’s my meds or not, or maybe i’ve just always been like this. i constantly feel afraid of something bad happening. the nightmares come and go but they’re extremely hard to talk about let alone remember. but the feeling never goes away. my anxiety just n...

thinking about how i feel is hard. i don’t really know what to write about anymore. so many things are wrong, that i’ve just gotten to the point of not even wanting to process it.. so i guess i haven’t been processing anything. i’m high every night. i don’t know why it feels so invalid…

The quietness of madness, of sorrow, of otherness. How it spirits you away to a place of silent tears and roaring shame, terror of the future. Is it madness to fear what lies under my medication? To know what’s on the other side? To wonder from time to time? I just want to sob into…

very personal and just a little graphic so discretion lol  just a little backstory to this diary entry i had written a few days ago: i just had my 20th birthday and my ex-boyfriend, after no contact of three years (i have him blocked on everything) decided to call my best friend a million times a...