#seeme

TRIGGER WARNING : This entry is full of graphic descriptions regarding Self Harm and Eating Disorders.     So...things have changed somewhat and I feel the need to do a whole big thing, like an op-ed to myself, and all of you about it. This academic year has been a complete mind-fuck; h...

  “Say what you want to say, let the words fall out, honestly, I want to see you be brave...” - Sara Barellies (Brave) So it would seem nightmares do come true after all. He’s been deployed recently. So I get to spend this year desperately hoping that he only lands here to put his…

"....sitting on the ground, and we whisper..." - The Starting Line (The Best of Me)    So... What the actual fuck am I doing?? Why the fuck am I thinking that getting involved with Straight Girl is anything even remotely close to a good idea?? It's very obviously not but pop that self destru...

So... Sometimes it’s just bigger than you, stronger than you can be, today is one of those days. Rita’s right, not every day is a bad day. Wednesday - Friday I was in a fairly good place, but today I’m not, today is not a good day. Today I’m crashing hard. Today is hard. I…

So...   Dr S was right, it is worse. I’m now halfway through the weaning stage with Prozac. So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn, goodbye to my little yellow and green friend. The past fortnight has been fairly horrific on 40mg, the next fortnight I  drop down again to 20mg before having to go ...

I used to believe that life was generally a bit shit, but ultimately that what went around came around but then it happened, then it happened again, and now I believe that life is very actually shit. There’s very little in the way of retribution, you just get the hand your dealt and you have…

It’s half past seven on a Saturday morning. For once I wasn’t woken by the flashbacks and trauma. No, turns out that a 12 shift in a cohort room on the Gastro Ward was enough to push me from “Fucking Knackered” to “Actually Exhausted”. I fell into bed at 9pm last night and slept until…