#personal

I can’t think anymore. I don’t know how to participate in conversation. My boyfriend made a comment earlier that stuck with me. He said “it’s funny how when you play the sims, I do most of the talking, and now that I’m playing the sims, I’m still doing most of the talking.” He laughed but…

In my turbulent times as a child, loud music, usually operatic tenors Mario Lanza or Enrico Caruso, was used to hide any other noises, your imagination should fill in the blanks, if it doesn't; lucky you. So as an adult I wasn't a big fan as you hopefully hopefully also imagined.   I am a voracio...

Something I wrote for an actual writing class that I managed to attend [mostly].   One person suggested it was plagiarism which was a tad upsetting, mainly because it isn't.   On reflection [that's a theme of mine] I decided that it was a compliment of sorts, in that it was good enough to have be...

I used to Blog, not for any great reason, I would just get the urge now and then, to Blog as well.   That was back in the good old days, when some parts of the Internet weren't trying to sell me something; or send me copious e-mails about how great whatever I was doing…

It's just one of those days where you don't know left from right or up from down. I'm struggling with so many things, yet it doesn't seem like much. Everybody tells me I am doing such a good job, yet I get no freedom. I'm living under a constant watchful eye who criticizes and never…

I think I am a good writer. When it comes to putting the thoughts in my head onto paper, I got this! I don’t know how to turn 'this' into something though, something meaningful, useful or lucrative even. Why do I want to make something of 'this' skill? I literally sound like a mad person,…

I am feeling a bit more optimistic lately and a bit more capable of recognizing and breathing through my anxieties. I am also very happy that switching to a new birth control pill contributed to feeling a bit more stable. The underlying PTSD and anxieties are already there, and a negative hormone...

The values held by my father were manipulation, lying, and inflicting pain on others. Never humility, generosity, resiliency, honesty, kindness, integrity. I had to learn these along the way after I was a teenager. My mother taught me love, determination, and how to be fiercely protective of thos...

Monday, 30th May 2016 Dearest Friend, I read James’s letter from the 13th on the bus back to Galway yesterday; it was a very emotional read for me! I find it hard to articulate how I’m feeling sometimes. It’s hard to explain to people that I sometimes need alone time to repair myself; it’s hard&h...

I have to keep trying to do the things that I love. I need to find my beads. I need to set up a craft area. I need to get a folding card table. These need to be priorities. Because I am loosing my damn mind. And I need something to do with my hands.…