#life

TW: abuse, SA, domestic abuse, grooming, drug abuse [no detailed descriptions] When I was a young teen, think 13 years old, I had a prophetic dream. It was vivid, surreal, and absolutely foreshadowed a major event in my life. Normally we don't think of meeting people as an event, but this was. In...

i am turning twenty in nineteen days and every day i am reminded of what a strange and wonderful and frightening thing it is to be here, and alive, and have the entirety of my life ahead of me - to have nothing, to want everything, the perhaps lightness of being without a tether to…

I had a major break down a whole 7 days ago today, this time last Friday I was literally begging and crying for the hospital to admit me to mental health and help me. (its 10:15pm here now). in the end the mental health nurse gave me a valium in an envelope told me I…

I got burned out from staying too long on LinkedIn. I am so tired. The employment rate here in The Philippines was low because of their unrealistic standards. How can these recruiters post something like 3-5 years of experience, yet the available companies accepting fresh graduates have hundreds ...

29 Aug 2022   “Disentanglement”   She was once loved by the demons, and so she had loved her back Scared to the unprecedented, she engraves her naive thoughts into feeding her insatiable monsters Echoing the delusionality of the future, she has tainted She has this heavy baggage she has...

It still hurts. It’s been seven months but it still hurts. A year ago today when we first said hello. I can still picture his smile like it was just yesterday. When will this end? When is my mind gonna stop having a glimpse of the past I shared with him? When is my heart…

Dear Love, Today is difficult. Anxiety of wanting you, but not yet having you, weighs heavy on my chest. At times, it feels like the cards are stacked against me. They say it’s better to have hand and lost, than never to have had at all. And I can’t say it’s something that I agree…

Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. My favorite number is number nine. But in this case nine equals time And if nine is time then what has happened with mine?   If time is nine And in that time of nine mine was alive What would my nine alive provide?   Mine, provide? More like collide. Or…

‘Narcissistic discard.’ I’ve come across the term in one of my late night scrolls, those times when I was still trying to understand what happened. We were fine and suddenly I was left hanging. No clue if there was something I did wrong. Nothing. I wasn’t ghosted, but I was lied to. I couldn’t fi...

When I found out that he's not really divorced, I knew I had to stop seeing him. I knew that at some point that what we have will have to end. That if not him, it's me that has to let go. Because I know what I want and I know what I've been praying…