#confusion

These last 4 months have been extremely tough on my heart and mental state. I have been suffering from cognitive dissonance. To those of you who don't know what cognitive dissonance means, it is basically having two thoughts that contradict each other and makes it difficult for you to come to a c...

So the sermon this morning was about “as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody…” Of course we all know the fallacy of THAT particular misbelief but he gave examples of things that really DO hurt people, of things that were more like “what they don’t know won’t hurt them…” ie: it won’t hurt her if…

My ex can build computers from scratch, he is smart like that. I don't trust him much; he is emotionally immature and abusive from my perspective; he lies to me. I bought a new computer he has never touched and started a new email. I am not taking any chances that he put spyware on…

I think I've been too hard on him lately. The reality is I do need to let go of the past, but I'm scared of history repeating itself. I am by no means perfect, and I think I've been reflecting my own opinions of myself onto him. I've been feeling guilty, so I make him…

If my life were a tarot card.. it would be the tower... my whole world came crashing down.. my mother called CFS on me claiming CHILD ABUSE, mental health issues and substance use. The child abuse allegation was deemed unsubstantiated right away. Then I figured all I had to do was prove that I do...

Damn I fucking love ducks

Heres a quick back story. I am a recovering heroin addict. I once faced a life full of drugs, abuse, job losses and institutionalization and incarceration. Lost almost everything, went through the legal system, went through rehabilitation, graduated treatment court and nursing school. I am now an...

I have felt a little bit uneasy the last few days.  I am writing here because I know there's no judgement (at least there never was before so I'm back).  Let me preface this entry by saying that my dating and relationship skills are . . . nonexistent?  I am not young (in my 30's)…

Listening to Boards of Canada; song of the moment is "Peacock Tail" On some mornings, quite like the rainy one today, I find myself wondering why I'm in a relationship. It's not that I have a terrible girlfriend; she's a wonderful person to be with. But the relationship isn't perfect or...