#anorexia

Struggling so hard to keep it all together. The drama and emotions of everyone in my family has been overwhelming. I just want everyone to be happy so I try so hard to make everyone’s life easier and more peaceful, this is what my dad used to do and I know it’s not healthy, however…

So, I started restricting again on May, 11th of this year. It started at first as a way to keep myself from self harming by cutting and overdosing. I knew those would eventually get me into trouble again and I didn’t want to take that risk. Sadly, I find it’s much easier to hide an…

I don’t want to trigger anyone. I do want to use this open diary as a safe place for myself and everyone else to share our honest thoughts. Mine aren’t always good but they aren’t always bad either. I am struggling a lot that’s for sure. I read back on my entries from 2007 and…

So I’ve been doing pretty good for awhile now at not eating after 7pm and most days I usually only eat one meal cuz my sleep schedule is so messed up rn. I’m wide awake at night and then I sleep in. Takes me a few hours or more after waking to feel hungry or…

Just writing this entry to let all the people who might come across my journal and be offended, disturbed or triggered....I am sorry. Please just don’t ready my entries. Honestly I only came back to this site to journal my daily struggles in life And to try and help myself and let out my emotions...

Woohoo. I was down another pound today which made my very happy and excited and able to get through the day. Yes started restricting again or rather not eating after 7pm and I’ve lost a total of 7lbs since May 11th. My bmi was at the brink of the overweight category so I needed to…

I’ve got a ways to go but I’ll get there. My lowest weight at 5’4 was 95lbs. Oh how I wish I would have appreciated my body then. I used to think I was fat at that weight. Wish I could go back in time and just appreciate my body. I’ve come to the conclusion…

So once again I’m writing in here to just let my emotions out so I don’t act irrationally.     I am not ok, not mentally well and I don’t claim to be. The one thing that urkes me the most however is the assholes who read my deepest secrets and thoughts and then feel…

Today was a fantastic day. I got up for my daily group mental health conference call at 10 am for the fourth day in a row. Yay me. I don’t always answer because I tend to stay up way to late at night and sleep in until about noon. However, I’m trying my very best…

10 years later plus some  So I’ve finally reclaimed my diary from over 10 years ago. Reading back on my entries, I’m surprised at how articulate I was even though my body was starving. Yet here I am over 10 years later and I am still not ok. I replaced my eating disorder with alcohol,…