I am married and still trying to figure life out. I need to vent and get many things off my chest. I have been through a lot and even though I have lots of support there are still many things I feel I cannot share and things I need to get off my chest without being judged directly.

Latest Entry

Stepping Stones!

September 6, 2024
I sure have made loads of mistakes in my life. But I like to think I am at least finally learning from them and. Now trying to rise above them. I know what I want in my life, and I am not going to just let life happen to me and not do something about…
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Recent Entries

  • Crossroads!
    September 6, 2024
    Everyone is so quick to look at your life and tell you what to do and are disappointed when you don't follow their advice. I mean I take on their advice and appreciate it, but they are not really in my position and really know what I am going through. Right now, I am standing…
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  • אני קושית יפה/I’m a Cute Black Girl Pg 102
    September 5, 2024
    There is so much for me to be thankful for lately, so it is quite fitting that I am scheduled to do the announcements at Shul tomorrow. I know I shouldn't ever need a reason to go to shul on a Shabbat, but this whole week I have been feeling a pull to spend some…
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  • Asset 6
    Am I Unlovable?
    September 3, 2024
    We haven’t spoken since Saturday Night. So much has happened between us, I don’t even know where to begin and get it all off my chest. We missed our flight to JHB for my sister’s wedding. He paid for me to change my flight so I could go up on Sunday morning and make it…
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  • Asset 6
    Am I Unlovable?
    September 3, 2024
    We haven’t spoken since Saturday Night. So much has happened between us, I don’t even know where to begin and get it all off my chest. We missed our flight to JHB for my sister’s wedding. He paid for me to change my flight so I could go up on Sunday morning and make it…
    Continue Reading...
  • Never Have I Ever…
    September 3, 2024
    .... as much as I do now... I know that women all over the world......hate wearing a bra. But since I have lost so much weight particularly on boobs...so now they just hang, even more than before...it hurts every time I take off my bra and gravity kicks in.  81.1 KG (DOWN 5.3 KG SINCE 15…
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  • Empty!!
    August 30, 2024
    When you give and give and give and feel as if you get nothing in return, it makes sense to feel alone and empty. That is how I have been feeling. I know he turned 40 so it was a big birthday. Would makes sense how I went all out for him. To this day…
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  • Just a Roommate!!
    August 30, 2024
    I have told my husband that is what I have often felt like with him. Before it was just about how we lived very separate lives, even though we were still in the same house hold. Then it became about how I was making all the effort in our relationship… (even though I have fallen…
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  • אני קושית יפה/I’m a Cute Black Girl Pg 102
    August 29, 2024
    Judaism is such a complex religion and a lot to understand. I also find Hashem to be a bit confusing at times...or maybe it is just the way that his words have been interpreted... The halachic permissibility of gambling rests on which of these is the reason for invalidating a gambler as a witness...
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  • The Only Way Foward is Up!
    August 29, 2024
    Lately I have been feeling like I have really hit rock bottom, but every day I see and hear of people worse off than me...now I know this is wrong but it makes me feel better, but I still want more. The other day I said I would stop with the  and , but I am still…
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