Recent Entries

• Too Much

  November 29, 2023

  So much of the time, I wish I didn't exist.  It's all too much.  It's all way too miserable most of the time.  I don't want to be here anymore.  I don't want to do any of it anymore.  I wish I wasn't me.

  Continue Reading...

• 11/28/2023

  November 28, 2023

  Oy, I have a lot to get through here.  Bear with me on the grammar, just trying to get this shit out of my head.  So yeah, I really like Otha a lot, but because of the Rhonda situation, I rarely get to see him.  So there's this dude at my work.  I thought he…

  Continue Reading...

• Birthday Tattoo

  November 16, 2023

  Just wanted to hop on here and do a little update.  Um, so Troy sent me a black cat pillow as a "Halloween present."  I messaged him that night to thank him and I kept our conversation short.  I still don't really know why he did it.  I don't really consider him a friend anymore. …

  Continue Reading...

• Jerk.

  October 24, 2023

  Troy messaged me out of the blue after several freaking months of nothing.  He was asking if my address was still the same because he wanted to send me a "Halloween present."  I was like just, "Aww.  Yeah, it's the same."  Then after a minute he said, "I searched for it in my contacts, and…

  Continue Reading...

• Something Wrong With Me

  October 21, 2023

  I think there is something very wrong with me, and normal, kind, intelligent people can see it.  That's why they don't want me.  They never want me.

  Continue Reading...

• 10/18/2023

  October 18, 2023

  Ignore the spelling and grammar.  Just trying to get all this out.  So much happened this past weekend.  I don't want to get into it all.  My brother got married.  I had severe social anxiety at his wedding.  Other bad shit happened after that.  I didn't go to the after party because I was so&hel...

  Continue Reading...

• 10/12/2023

  October 18, 2023

  I went back to Otha to finish my pumpkin tattoo a couple weeks ago.  I mentioned before, the other tattoo artist that works with him, Rhonda is in love with him and obsessed with him, but he doesn't want to be with her.  She is also very jealous and possessive of him.  Well, apparently she…

  Continue Reading...

• Spiral

  September 29, 2023

  Yesterday I just kept spiraling down a fucking pit of despair.  It was so bad.  I have come to the conclusion that I am so fucking naive and delusional.  Just because someone gave me a little attention, I start making wedding plans.  Not literally, that's an exaggeration.  I just mean I get attac...

  Continue Reading...

• Depressed.

  September 18, 2023

  I'm feeling really down today.  Probably the most depressed I've felt in a long time.  I just woke up feeling that way.  I feel like I don't have an energy either.  It feels like nobody really gives a shit about me.  Some people have showed me that it's really easy to not think about me. …

  Continue Reading...