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3 / 1 / 2019

March 1, 2019
That's the hard part, right? To understand that I was enough from the start. To not lose myself in what I think she wants me to be because who she loves is exactly who I am and not an image of what I think she would love. But that's the hard part. The hard part…
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Recent Entries

  • 2 / 26 / 2019
    February 26, 2019
    Did a twelve hour shift today.   At the end, a friend and coworker went through a episode at work where it seemed pretty apparent she was gonna harm herself if I didn't intervene. So I did. I moved a box cutter off the desk she was sitting at and pocketed it, and I held…
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  • 2 / 24 / 2019
    February 24, 2019
    It's strange how fast emotions change. I've worked with her on and off for the past two years, and when we first met, I thought she was attractive; however, I had an immediate dislike for her. She was subpar at her job, and she was often in a bad mood. I left my store about…
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  • Asset 6
    1 / 31 /2019
    February 5, 2019
    As I get older, I feel further from where and who I want to be, and I wonder if it's better to accept that I'll probably never be. It's a concept I've struggled all of my life because all of my life, despite feeling old, I've been playing a game of catch up with no…
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  • 1 / 29 / 2019
    January 30, 2019
    On a new medication. Not interested in going into the details because it seems irrelevant right now. Today, I fixed my sister's laptop. It saved her roughly 1200 dollars or more from having to buy a new one. I asked her if she could toss 20 dollars my way to buy me lunch for the…
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  • 1 / 18 / 2019
    January 19, 2019
    When I try to describe what it means for me to be bi-polar, I always find myself at a loss for words,. The closest answer that I felt was coherent was when I spoke to my manager about when I spiral into mania. Once in awhile, you find a pair of headphones that you happen…
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  • 1 / 7 / 19
    January 7, 2019
    There's a theory called the missing tile syndrome. It goes like this: Say that a person walks into a pristine art museum decorated with elaborate tiles on its ceiling. Upon looking at the beautiful art strung up on the walls, he or she notices a missing tile on the ceiling. Suddenly, it's all thi...
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  • 1 / 4 / 19
    January 5, 2019
    My therapist said I should start writing. Well, she said I should do something productive to unwind or simply do something to get my thoughts out. Truthfully, life feels a little stagnant right now. I'm getting older. That's the simple truth. That comes with a lot though. As I get older, the acco...
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  • Cocktail
    November 28, 2018
    Lately, I float between rapid ups and downs. I've had three appointments with my doctor, and I tried to explain that there's been a mild depression that still lingers even after taking a new antidepressant that we thought was working effectively. It started smooth--I felt some relief--like I had ...
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  • Office Visits
    October 30, 2018
    I went to my most recent checkup today, and I asked my doctor if I could go up to a higher dosage on my medication. He said he didn't think it was a good day. I tried to explain that I was still having a lot of lows, but they weren't as intense. At my…
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