Recent Entries

• Frustration and Angry

  October 20, 2023

  So I’m currently dealing with a healing process that (to be honest) is taking me almost 20 years to deal with.  I have some things that I want to vent and (hopefully) I can see this as a thing I can let go of instead of building it up and allowing it to fester. One…

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• Living life without feeling bound

  September 23, 2023

  It’s taken me years to finally saying to myself, “You know - I’ve had enough.” The amount of time I’ve spent dwelling on things, thinking that I was afraid to be alone, etc…it’s all made me realize how much time and how many years I’ve wasted. Today is a new day and I’m not wasting…

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• I can’t take this 😣

  January 5, 2022

  My daughter tonight was crying when her dad yelled at her. I was hugging her and telling her everything’s ok.  She kept telling me that’s she’s sorry and that she’s not a bad kid.  I told her she’s not a bad kid, whatsoever. Then she asks me why Dad was always mad at her? And…

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• Things that I struggle with…

  December 8, 2021

  These are the things I’ve been struggling with for years.  It’s just something that I want to recognize for myself so I know how to deal with it or maybe get help for it in the future. Body Dysmorphia:  this is something I struggled with since I was a kid.  It started when I was…

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• How My Children Save My Life, Daily.

  October 5, 2021

  Every time I write in this diary, it's always something dramatic, something depressing, or I'm sharing the deepest parts of my heart that would be inappropriate to share publicly. However, even in my most depressing and sad moments...I look at my kids and realize how deep my love is for them and ...

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• Maybe Something Is Wrong With Me

  September 24, 2021

  Today was not a good day.  I've been crying all day. It started out ok until one situation that happened. Well, I came across a video of a girl who was wearing tight jeans (and was seeking attention) was walking around with a phone in her pocket while others were staring at her backside. Obviousl...

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• Trying: Just My Deep Thoughts For Today

  September 20, 2021

  I’m trying to be more social and reach out to people.  Some days it’s really hard. For over 12 years, I have pushed people away for various reasons.  One reason is that I have a hard time trusting people…but I’m getting better.  Another reason is I’m afraid to get close to people just to lose&hel...

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• Panic..

  September 6, 2021

  Worked a double today. Had a panic attack at work... Great...

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• Hopeless

  September 4, 2021

  Sometimes I think things are getting better... Then something happens to tell me it's not... I have no one to go to... I’m lost.

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