On this earth but no of this earth

Has anyone ever felt that you don’t belong here? I fell this more and more. Not only at work or with my friends but in society and in my family. Everyone is so unhappy, has issues and there is almost never anyone that says they are content. I AM. I have been on the other side for almost half of my life.

I went through a very tough relationship (when I started my diary it ended) I felt so low any human can go. My self worth was abolished and I didn’t know who I was anymore. After this came my health problems (3 hip replacements) and other ailments. It took me 6 years to battle all this plus an depression I would admit I had until my daughter taunted me and made me see it.

I look around every day and observe how people feel, look and talk. Even my own kids at times are so unhappy. I work in a middle school and see kids go through terrible ordeals. I chose to start over, I chose to be happy even though I have many things to be sad over. I chose ME. One step each day, reading , learning about the nature of humans. I look around me and see so much beauty in nature. I then see the other side with people in such mental misery.

I am on this earth yes but not of it…I come from a time past, a place with only beauty and love, timeless and quiet in all its beauty with GOD.

I am a believer of this and it has guided me though my toughest times…my pain is diminishing, my self esteem is growing and my sadness is gone….