I want to love him because I “love” him.

  I want to love him because I "love" him. Not because I "need" him. This was the thaught I was searching the answer to for a long time…Its the feeling to my big mystery in which I had given up myself and lived for another, not with another…I put myself in the background and forgot I existed….Two days ago he called me,,…after 4 months of silence…..I was so shocked that I couldn’t sleep…it was a very intense conversation….I told him I missed the time with him….as I talked I learned something,,,,The feeling of neediness was gone only love was left over…no anger or sadness or talking about her or what happened…it was like something has erased it all in these 4 months….I found out I didn’t need him , only loved him,,,,,and even if I knew he is not mine anymore….I had to respect this and embrace it with my heart,,,because I was special , I have been given the gift to love someone unconditionally…this was something wonderful, not sad…the good things he gave me came up and I felt such peace with the sound of his voice….this was what I missed the most…I think he missed me as well, he said he did and I wanted to believe him…he said he stopped calling me because it was wrong…even of it is…I can’t and wouldn’t have the power to let him go first…so he did it…he said he was not happy,.,,,nothing more ….its ok when the time comes one day maybe we can sit and talk…