Day 4 (missed day 3)

Well its gotten harder, my ego has been nasty. It reminds me at times that he don’t want me or has no interest in me. I needed to really meditate last night, I cried and talked to God to tell him my dreams.It was like a roller coaster of emotions. I’m trying so hard to not be wanting or needing anyone or anything. Its a new way of thinking for me, my childhood was very much similar to this as I don’t think my parents were emotionally there for me. I have always been this way towards the people in my life and I need to change myself to experience the true identity of me.

O’m getting there but its not easy, every day is a battle with my mind. If I read my diary from 2012 when I started it I can see the enormous difference in myself, its magical. I want to cry. Its actually going better than I expected. Im so proud of myself for not taking contact with him for 4 days.