Who framed roger rabbit?

Hooooly bejesusfuck.  12 hour work days are simply no fun at all.  So continuing from my incomplete previous entry, we completed 2 of Lisa’s collages.  The guys at the plastics place fucked up one of the plexiglass pieces so we only have 3.  It’ll probably be next week before we get that one in.  In order that we had a space to work we fashioned a makeshift table from 2 sawhorses and THE HEAVIEST PIECE OF PARTICLE BOARD IN EXISTENCE.  Good lord that thing weighs a metric ton.  So our assembly line goes thusly:
*Make sure the plex fits in the frame and doesn’t fall through the front
*Put plex on table and peel the masking off of one side.

*Proceed to buff and clean, polishing out any scratches and peel back the edges of the other side while it’s on the table.

*Place cleaned plexi in the frame and maneuver frame/plex combo to table without letting the plex fall through the front.

*Hot glue plex  into the very front of the frame so it can’t wobble or fall out.

*Bring the art up from the back and then clean the inside of the plex again to make double sure it’s clean, and blow all the dust off the collage and the plex

*Carefully drop the collage into place in the frame and fasten it in with brads and framers points and little braces

*Putty the corners and nail holes in the frame, add the heavy duty mirror hangers, and create packaging from old moulding boxes.

*Move the massive wad of frame, plex, cardboard and tape into the back out of the way and repeat.

The whole process takes about 2 hours per frame.  My brain stopped somewhere around lunch when I was begrudgingly pulled away from me delicious half-eaten blueberry muffin to go cut more frames.  This is a regular occurance at work.  we always have to interrupt our lunches to help customers or do things.  All of us.  But it’s particularly annoying when I’m pulled away from said Muffin of Morale Boosting.In fact that just makes me grouchy.  You know how Eating always makes me feel better?  Well now you do.  But NOT eating, understandably, has the opposite effect.  Effect is a noun.  Affect is a verb.  But then you knew that.

So I was very grouchy most of the day, and very spaced out, which is no good when you have to cut 40 pieces of glass.  Tiny ass glass too.  Who the fuck gets 4 3/8" X 5 5/8" glass?  AND 40 metal frames to go around them.  That makes me nervous.  As a professional picture framer, I don’t like cutting metal chops with my hands so close to the blades.  In fact we have to use a special brace to cut any frames smaller than 8" because the measuring stop won’t go any farther in.  In order to get your hand in there to hold the leg of metal moulding down so the saw doesn’t kick it out and stab it directly into your skull, you have to turn off the hydraulic clamp and hope to sweet heaven above you’re holding onto it tight enough, because if not it’ll flip out and take your finger with it.  Now multiply that times 160.  that’s 40 frames with 4 sides.  Kinda stressful.  But I cut the glass, not the frames.  Brandon cut the frames.  Did I mention my cousin Brandon and his girlfriend Elia are working with us now?  They’re awesome.

Tomorrow is sushi for lunch.  We’ve already decided.  I was looking through one of the framing/art magazines we have laying about and saw some nice dishes holding some tasty looking sushi and it made me crave it, but since Hank was getting food from the bakery already I got the soup of the day and had to postpone the sushi until tomorrow.  Friday we’re totally doing Thai food.  I think I’m justified in skimming through an art and design magazine just to look at the pictures.  The articles aren’t really as important as what everything looks like anyway.  That was one of the only times I had to relax today, other than when I pooped.  And I sure was pooped.

The University came in today too.  I think that was the strange moment of the day.  When she tried to offer us some sort of gift/bribe to give them a money buffer so they could go over budget on framing…  Like for instance, what they were framing were pictures as thank-you gifts for donors of over $20,000.  Someone who donates $20,000 is eligible to receive a gift worth no more than $200 or so.  And she said they’d donate some cash to Balcones and let us hold on to it and use it to make up the difference if they wanted to give $215 frames to all their donors that gave $20,000.  Which is very dubious in legality.  HAH.  Keeping Austin Weird one day at a time.  That’s our motto at Balcones Frame Supply.

Anyway… what does a framer look like?  It’s an actual job you know.  Not many people can do it, but maybe you can spot a framer if you look carefully.  They have heavy callouses on their palms from clamping frames in vices all day, probably a light dusting of sawdust in their arm hair from cutting wood frames.  Tiny aluminum flecks that look like glitter in their hair from cutting metal frames.  An apron smeared in wood glue and wax putty of numerous colors.  Immaculately clean hands/fingers.  Framers have to handle very expensive artwork and have to wash their hands with lava soap.  If he’s hard at work he’ll have eye and ear protection if he knows what he’s doing.  Getting sawdust in your eye is no fun at all.  And they smell like fresh cut wood, which is one of the perks of cutting wood frames.  The odor from some of the wood when you cut it is awesome.  Then there’s MAPLE which makes a choking noxious cloud of smoke that burns your eyes, makes your nose run, and makes you cough.  Pretty wood, but I hate cutting it.  Conversely, pine is very piney and pleasant.  Yay for pine.  Anyway.  I’m out like the bridge in True Lies.