Rockin like a hurricane relief concert.

Man… the actual hurricane sucked, but all these benefits and stuff have been totally great.  I’ve been to a couple myself and I’ve had a completely unique and fun time each time.  I’m writing about this because last night at one of these such events I happened to meet some director who makes a lot of movies with a certain actress who we shall call "Mrs. T".  and We shall call this mystery man "Mr. T".  You have to read to the end to find out the whole story.  But last week we had the first one.  We went to Lavaca Street Bar because all the proceeds were going to the Red Cross, so it was the thing to do.  Getting drunk to feed survivors!  Sounds like a plan to me, right?  It was me, Joey, Joe, Cavo, and Jake.  The first thing we do when we sit down is have a round of Four Horsemen, which is a crapload of alcohol that gets you drunk.  I never remeber what’s in this.  151… rum… stuff like that.  4 things obviously.  4 things that get you drunk.  Fast.  Like… I can down 2 fuckin pints of guiness in under 30 minutes and not be as drunk as I was on only ONE of these Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  In a little whiskey glass.

Well… Joey tends to look at women when he’s drunk, and he’d spaz out when an ugly one would go by and be like "aww I shouldn’t have looked!"  and there were quite a few… there was one he kept calling Jackie Chan, because it was a mannish asian girl, and there was this one guy with long hair we called Fabio.  Joey is also very talkative when he gets drunk.  We have a good witness because Joe is a good boy and he doesn’t drink, so he was our designated driver.  He testifies to all of this.  I am not one to be noticably drunk.  I can move, speak and think in a normal manner even if I’m smashed.  See the trick is I can force myself to be sober for short bursts.  I take a deep breath and concentrate and for a good 5 seconds I’m completely sober.  Also the guitar player for a band we know called the Normans was there and he’s notable because he’s got a hand with only 3 fingers.  they didn’t believe me but I went up to him and proved it to them.  Guitar player with 6 fingers and 2 thumbs.  crazy.

Now… the best part was when some beer girls were trying to get us to buy some Corazon tequilla and they were offering a shot of tequilla and a t-shirt for $5.  I was like "no I don’t have any money!  …. but I have this card!"  and they were like yeah!  you can buy it but you have to pay at the bar.  and I looking perfectly sober walked up to the bar and ordered myself a corazon and got my t-shirt, and when I got back I must have been feeling kind of indebted to them for the t-shirt because I told them how we were going to I-HOP afterwards to eat and how we had a coupon for free meals… so I was trying to pick them up with I-HOP coupons and Joey thinks this is so funny that the entire room tilts and his chair falls over.  The girls were totally confused by my I-HOP angle.  His elbow smacks the trash can full of bottles and it sounds like he smashed through a window.  Everyone else in the room applauded and cheered like regular drunks.  Or regular stupid people.  Or drunk stupid people.  All three types were in the room.  When that happened they were extremely concerned but somehow confusion+ concern= scared.  They were a little terrified to do anything with us after that whether or not they were initially inclined to in the first place.
 
But I didn’t start acting drunk until I got back to the van and me and our buddy Ryan "The Storm" Cavo had a drunken chat about women and love which was interesting to say the least.  Then we went to I-HOP and we realized that the coupons were expired anyway.  We were having raucous drunken conversation by that time and everything was funny.  mmmm those pancakes really hit the spot too.  I was somehow very sticky from that meal though.  I got the standard passport breakfast with scrambled eggs and sausage and pancakes.  I remember asking if they had soy sauce and completely confusing the waitress. (I like my eggs with soy sauce).  But yeah… that was the previous benefit.  This time it was different.

It was me Joey, Joe and Robin last night.  Originally we were gonna go to Antone’s to see my friend Joey whois the drummer for Fastball and listen to some live music and then give him CDs and introduce him to the guys… and there *supposedly* was a suggested $20 dontion price to get in and so we were gonna maybe pay $10 and still get in and then do our thang and then go find some food or something, but then Robin had forgotten to bring his ID with him and so he couldn’t get in and so he and Joey decide to hang back and let Me and Joe go find Joey… lots of Joeys I know… and so me and Joe go inside and Joey and Robin wander off to find some food.

Maybe 30 minutes go by and the end of the concert comes up and I try to call Joey back because I checked the time on my cell phone and noticed he had called earlier because he had called earlier when they first left and I didn’t get in touch with him but I see Joey coming off the stage and I go over to greet him.  I have this big envelope of stuff where I’d put the 2 CDs I was gonna give to him, but there were 2 other CDs in there and a bunch of paper… so while I’m digging his stuff out and handing it to him and just getting to say hi, Joey calls me back and I miss his call because my hands are full of junk.  So I call him back and he’s in the bathroom at the Alamo Drafthouse but I can’t hear what he’s saying because they just turned the Foo Fighters up really loud on the club PA.  Then I think I hear "Quentin Tarrentino" and I’m like what?!  and he says "I just met Quentin Tarrentino in the bathroom!"  then he said something I didn’t quite catch "He doesn’t what?!"  "He didn’t wash his hands!"  ………We’re so telling this story at the gig on friday.  Then Joe and I leave after that because by the time I got off the phone with Joey, Joey had gotten on the phone with someone and so I waved bye to him and we left and went to the Drafthouse.

It was $10 real bucks to get in there and we ended up deciding to pay and get in and we watched this weird 1960s war movie that had some good moments and after the film I ask the obvious question… "what does that movie have to do with Quentin Tarrentino?"  Turns out he bought the reel from some dude for $50 bucks.  I know this because at that moment Quentin walks over from the other side of the theater and just starts talking to us about it.  He said it was so cheap because it was too red.  I guess it was heavy on the magenta but I expect that from old movies.  anyway I thought it was kinda funny.  He’s a pretty nerdy guy.  Just like us.  So we know if his next movie has a whole lot of red in it that that’s where he got the idea.  Its one of those funny celebrity stories.  So yeah… if you get a chance to go to one, just go.  You never know what may happen.