prepare yourself for the weirdest day of my life..

ok… let me just say that the weirdest day of my life used to be pegged at April 1st of this year when I was all out of it and I heard all sorts of weird stories on the radio that had to be pranks and then I found out that same day that we were playing at the Austin 10K marathon and I thought that was a joke too but it turned out real… that’s pretty weird shit right there, but todays occurance has left all that lightyears behind.  Introducing my sister, Ceilia Faye Ellison:  She seemed to be a normal sister growing up.  Granted my dad spelled her name weird on her birth certificate so it’s spelled like "ceiling" rather than the name Celia… btu that’s nto the point.  she enjoys art and travelling and doing things for herself… after she graduated she went to college at CSU like any normal person might, but then things started getting weird.  she dropped out of college and ran off to Argentina and Chile, and she met some people there, one of whom was Hector Gomez.  She applied for Berkley in California but never made it there, instead going back to South America several times, once where her travel partner got food poisoning and my uncle and my cousin (both of whom were doctors) were going to complete to see who could smuggle her medicine the fastest.  they managed to find medicine there in Bolivia and they both came back home, but my sister moved to Novato, California and has been living there with Hector Gomez.  I went to my uncle Keith’s master’s degree graduation (he’s going for a doctorate in computer science) and after that I went to visit my sister, and we decided kind of spur of the moment to take a trip to Hawaii since I had just graduated myself the previos year.  What I wasn’t expecting was that Hector came along with one of his daughters.  He’s got several you see.  mostly from different mothers or so I hear.  Now Hector is a fairly nice guy… I guess.  he’s really rather crazy, but it’s because of his diabetes I think.  He gets really weird if hsi blood sugar is out of whack or he hasn’t taken his medicine.  He’s like 55 years old and he’s got lots of kids, and he’s got diabetes, and he’s got no money.  so I had to support him and his daughter on my vacation which ate up all my savings from the movies I had worked at.  this is all in my diary in early 2001.  or it should be.  Also he managed to fart on me while we were going to some weird party with some people he knew in Hawaii.  So anyway… that’s when I got to know Hector.  the weird old Argentinian medicine man/ shaman.  Well… that brings us up to a few weeks ago when my sister called us about her graduation from the cult-like Waldorf school she’ll be teaching at.  Her last words to me in our short "hello, goodbye" type conversation were "I’m getting married!" :O  I say "you’re getting married?  To who?"  and I hear a click as she hangs up.  Who could she be getting married to?  I mulled this question over in my mind and decided she was playing a prank on me, because I knew of no one that she had any romantic attachment to.  Granted she’d been living with Hector, but I thought of them more as roommates than a couple… and my sister is 3 years older than me.  she’s 26.  He’s like 55.  that never actually even occurred to me as the REAL answer to the question.  Yes my friends, that was the news I got today not moments after I got home.  MY sister is INDEED getting married to Hector Gomez TOMORROW.  :O  OMG WTF LOL and all those other acronyms of surprise and astonishment!  MY sister is getting married to an argentinian medicine man?  dude… my mom is goign to have a son-in-law that is like 10 years older than her.  My brother-in-law is going to be old enough to be my dad… I’m totally gonna be an uncle to someone that’s older than I am.  as well as at least other girls.  I could have sworn my sister was a lesbian.  Well fuck me up the goat’s ass for being wrong on this one!  Or maybe she is and she’s just marrying him out of convenience?  My dad is still disappointed that he hasn’t recieved horses in trade for his daughter.  Hector isn’t the prettiest guy in the world.  He’s a little chunky because of the diabetes but not exactly fat, and he constantly sounds like he’s half-asleep.  You know Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite?  It’s like if he was a 55 year old diabetic with a liver transplant and about half the sanity.  maybe Edward James Olmos plus 30 pounds.  and OH.      MY……   GOD.  I hope they don’t have kids.  My mom said that earlier and I just about gagged.  I mean… women marry older men for their looks sometimes, or usually their money or celebrity status like Tom Cruise or Hugh Heifner… but Hector isn’t even rich.  He’s… weird.  and poor.  and in need of care.  I told Joey because he called me like a minute after my parents told me, and the first thing he said… well at first he didnt’ recognize my voice because it was abotu an octave higher than normal becaus eI was so weirded out and THEN I told him why and the first thing he says is "is she on crack?!"  and then I tell my friend online about it and she says "is she smoking crack?!"  Honestly?  I don’t know, but… I’m weirded out.  so… yeah.  Today is officially the WEIRDEST day of my whole life.