Good news, bad news.

well… there’s a whole lot of news but since I’m feeling optimistic I’ll start off with some good news.

GOOD NEWS:  Our Nacho Libre mexican wreslting masks arrived today!  I went to pick them up at the Alamo Drafthouse downtown (actually it was downstairs at Mojo’s T-shirts.  They have this wonderful shirt that says "Republicans for Voldemort" that I really enjoyed.) and when the guy asked for my name, he recognised it after a moment.  "I remember talking to her!  You don’t look like a Jane."  "That’s my mother actually."  "Really?  My mother would never wear one of these masks."  He sounded a little disappointed to me.  We got 4 masks.  one each for me, my mother, my father, and our friend Dan.  These masks are amazingly comfortable.  You cannot wear glasses over the mask because there are no ears to rest them on.  Other than that, they are totally sweet.

BAD NEWS:  I missed James Brown’s birthday.  It was yesterday but I was too busy to post anything.  so here now, in honor of the grand master general of soul himself… I present to you JAMES MOTHERFUCKIN BROWN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkGg3XkN80U

(I particularly think the French subtitles make this probably the best video ever.  If the porn moustache wasn’t enough.)

GOOD NEWS: I have recently purchased the new Danger Doom album combining the likes of MF Doom and Danger Mouse, adding into the mix some of Adult Swim’s heavy hitters such as Brak and Meatwad into a thoroughly enjoyable (likely the only one in existance) rap album.  Also I purchased a self-titled Elliott Smith album.  I initially bought it because it had the song "Coming Up Roses" on it because I love that song, but after listening to the album endlessly for about 3 or 4 days I decided that everyone who reads this ought to go download or buy this album for the song "Christian Brothers" because it’s life-changingly cool.  I love my taste in music.

BAD NEWS:  I’ll pack 2 of them into this one because the next bit of good news will counter-balance it.  David Blaine.  Morning talk-show host Kelly Ripa spent some time in the tank Tuesday with David Blaine, who’s living in a ‘human aquarium’ for seven days at Lincoln Center in New York.  Their underwater interview aired on "Live with Regis and Kelly."  The bad news here is that David Blaine still exists.  Now for the other one: "Bush wants laser weapon"  The Bush empire administration is seeking to develop a powerful ground-based laser weapon that would be used to destroy enemy satellites in orbit.  The largely secret project, parts of which have been made public through Air Force budget documents submitted to Congress in February, is part of a wide-ranging effort to develop space weapons.  The annual budget for this project is about $20 million this year.  Ok… if Bush wants to cut taxes and says we should instead cut wasteful government spending, why the hell does this program even exist?  Only one person can save us now…

GOOD NEWS:  Mr. T has some advice for you!  If Dr. Phil can dispense advice, why not Mr. T?  The TV Land network announced Tuesday that it will start "I Pity the Fool," a series starting in October in which "The A-Team) star travels across the country dispensing inspiriation and advice.  "The ‘T’ stands for talking," he said.  "I’m going to talk it up.  It’s what I’ve been doing all my life."  He’ll offer help to people struggling with personal or professional problems.  "My show ain’t no ‘Dr. Phil,’ with people sitting around crying," he said.  "You’re a fool; that’s what’s wrong with you.  You’re a fool if you don’t take my advice."  A fool indeed.  I know who you can go to for a season opener, T.  Bush.  I just need to say this: Thank you Mr. T.  I pity the fool that messes with T.