On Christmas

Just look at him wishing everyone a merry christmas as if he’s some sort of true deity. All these parents flock to this mall en masse, endure ridiculous waits and wasted gas circling the parking lot over and over and over, just to stand in yet another line with all the other parents with screaming children just to put their child on this mans lap. A strangers lap. At least he got into character and grew a real beard. It wouldn’t be surprising if he’s a pedophile or some other sort of sex offender and his suit is extra big primarily to hide his erection. Or maybe, just maybe, he really is just the kid-loving grandfather type who never had kids of his own because his wife is barren or he’s shooting blanks or something. Sure they could adopt but you can’t raise a kid making minimum wage working as St. Nick in the mall. For the parents sake i hope this is the truth. But i bet this bearded overweight old man has pictures of every kid that ever sat on his lap lined up on his walls like wallpaper and every night he beats off to them. Hey, don’t give me that look. I work in a mall and everyday i see rude people push and shove through crowds, complain in long lines that they even have to go out and buy gifts for people they don’t even like, insult cashiers for not moving faster, and complain that Jesus was even born while lying to their children about why they should behave all year long. Christmas brings out the worst in people and i’m sure Santa’s no exception.