to the frozen lake

Why are you sad? Sometimes when I am sleepy, I do not make sense. Simply put, I like everything about Nero because he was wise and artistic but crazy. Maybe he wasn’t really crazy more like genius because those to most often get confused. What is even more odd is that he was like an accidental Emperor, lol.

I’ve had similar feelings since hearing of the shooting. All of Friday afternoon, sat in front of my computer and the tv weeping bc everything that happens leaves me feeling so powerless, so helpless. And then of course they released photos of th victims and stories of the staff and teachers’ heroism and you realize that there actually are good people out there, but to have that proven bc of this…. The cycle continues. Hey, at least you’ve had a wash of new thoughts on yourself and the world. And regarding Burney, isn’t it frustrating how people are too scared to be upfront and REAL. Ugh.

i love dennis duffy. i’ve also been off-kilter since friday. i’ve tried to put things in perspective but telling myself that horrible things happen to children all over the world, not just america, isn’t a very comforting thought on its own.

you’re not fooling anyone, mister. you’re actually a sweetheart: how can i be funny anymore, when all i want to do is hug people and say i accept them completely?

you are a cock. <3

are you saying you’re not a cat person?! if you’re on the internet you’re automatically a cat person.

How can you talk with Asshole Binfield without driving a nail in each eye?

The Disintegration Loops are amazing. Have you ever listened to Brock Van Wey? He is one of my favorite ambient musicians and his music brings out similar feelings in me. mono no aware. I haven’t heard that term before. It’s very interesting. ryn: you’re right, they aren’t very clever with their names. they mean well, but if I wasn’t forced to attend I wouldn’t go.

the thing is if you asked that question in AA you know you would get so many different responses all telling you that you have a disease, you are powerless etc. That’s what I don’t like about AA.

I didn’t read this entry until just now because when you first posted it I read the first paragraph or two and just knew I wasn’t ready for it. and now, jeez, it’s like I get you, like you’re human or something. you have always been so sarcastic and some.. other.. word that I can’t think of right now, but, you were that, to the point of offending at times. but I like it when you’re emo, I like it when you cry and drink, I do those things a lot too and that is what I like. I’ve taken to abusing punctuation horribly, have you noticed? I don’t know why this shooting has affected me just like 9/11. worse things have happened – have they? – but everything seems so quiet, so changed, while the media circus rages on. I don’t know.

r: it’s a great entry. there’s a lot of it I want to quote because I like your way with words and you said some very interesting things. I hope you know that.

i know why i hate ashleigh bin field. her forced and faked patriotism. hate and fear veiled by a ****tyearthporn picture of the twin towers. painting the ugliest picture of our country. but you, i like!

ryn: some of my favorite albums are dick jokes, though! elephant eyelash by why?, for instance. yoni wolf admitted that “elephant eyelash” is some weird in-joke slang for a boner. if i knew how to music, my album titles would probably all be something to do with my junk.

I agree with your campaign at Ashleigh 1,000%, but you are never going to get a reasoned response. If I were you, I’d use my energy somewhere more likely to produce results, but I admire you anyway. Best wishes,

Yeah, Korn sucks. I was more of a Limp Bizkit kid back during… that time. Nah, i totally understand your campaign against Sleigh Binthing. I used to argue with conservatives online a lot, before they started blocking me. She is kind of the bottom of the barrel though. I miss Ric Locke — he was an old guy with pure conservative beliefs and an actual working mind; debating him was incredibly difficult but fair. Sadly, he died earlier this year from too many cigarettes. Wingnuts like Binfield are midgets, he was a giant!

Hi zeno. I like arguing at Ashleigh, even if it doesn’t matter. My in-laws are much like her and I have a lot of repressed rage which I release by flaming strangers on the internet.

Also I think the idea that other cultures are emotionally or morally superior is easy to believe because we don’t actually know what it is like to be the other.

As for Luna, i did just that. As for Muna, i’ve already made all the jokes about blood diamonds and international cartels that need be made at this point. I’m just confused, because she texted me asking to borrow $40 to keep her phone on. Denied! I like both of these kids, but when it comes to borrowing money, they don’t abide by the code. The Tennessee Redneck Borrowing Code; when you borrow money, you pay it back by your next paycheck, slipping it to the lender casually with a hushed “thanks, hoss” to hide your shame. Because we ain’t like to owe nobody nothin’. You gotta follow the code.

thank you! and that was definitely not my argument. even he can’t deny that they are powerful and potentially harmful and even if doesn’t do it anymore, we both know he doesn’t do drugs to feel good, he does them to transcend and to learn. in the end they’re just chemicals that are intended to get you addicted and that is enough to make me not okay with it

no, i didn’t mean that. the pills were to kill pain, which of course they are very good at, and get a small energy boost. which is exactly why i don’t think he needs them. or should miss them. psychedelics i am much more in favor of, but opiates i will fight against.

i hope i am making sense.

i guess i mean that i am not against him, or anyone, doing drugs as long as they are learning and experiencing something positive. i see oxycodone (not oxycotin sorry) as highly addictive and not very beneficial in any way, outside of alleviating pain, which, in peet’s case, i see as just age, and that is not reason enough to get addicted to a man-made chemical

I hope you found your phone.

I act a big dumb homo a lot of the time. No shame in that, son.

A private note I recieved yesterday: “Ash, you are right to humiliate Zeno and embarass him. He is clearly harassing you with Alinsky-esqe tactics and trying to stifle free speech in your diary. He seems like a typical hypocritic Liberal who dislikes and always blames America first. Have you seen his picture? He looks like Hitler for Christ sakes. Keep it up. You obviously are winning.”

Look Hon I visted your diary 1 time!!

Dude…are you a masochist? I think it’s fucking hilarious how you dutifully make sound, evidence-based arguments to ABF and her crew, as if they were even cognitively capable of being swayed by such an approach. Those are sad, sad people, frittering away their extraordinary privilege in fear and madness. Mono no aware indeed.

r: Oho! comrade. I have my own little quiet campaign going, just as fruitless, but just as deserved, IMHO. Because under it all is a terrible pathos, a big gibbering well of fat, pasty rolls and laser hair removal and empty shiny things, ignorance and rejection riding on the primal back of fear, the sound of Fox news always blaring in the background, whether the set is actually on or not.

Holy shit! What will you do if she blocks you? You fucking asshole…getting me sucked into this show. Now I have to stay up past my bedtime to find out what happens.

I like Ashleigh. Our politics are polar opposite, but Ashleigh’s diary always makes me laugh, and Ash has always been cool with me. I’m probably the only Liberal on OD that gets along with AB. Lol

Motherfuckersonasled! That bitch (I don’t care what you say). Unfortunately, I’m non-partisan, buddy. I never hit her on her politics (personal or political). I’m going deeper, throwing stones down that well of insane fear and insecurity born of pastywhite sloth and unappreciated privilege. On the bright side, now you can WRITE at least. Come on, son…you’re breaking myheart here.

I see you’re back in her good graces, you lucky dawg. I wonder what was behind the reversal. Ah, the human subject – never a dull moment.

You toil with madpeople, piling up words, but never a tower built.

no point arguing with that Ashleigh bin laden or whoever troll, eh?

Well, technically I should be certified on the forklift, but I still have yet to do that- although one of my coworkers from a different location is able to certify me and will next time she’s down here. But the surprising thing is that there’s no special license or certification for driving the loader, which is the real shocker. I shred at driving both, so certification of not, I win.

When the law is no good I expect someone to stand up for it. I am with the republicans on the healthcare law. It has to go.

Oh Hon… I fear you are in a mental hospital after Obama’s rapid MELTDOWN.

OD has returned.