Why it always like this?

She just love me whenever I get high grades to post it in social media. So I really try to get high grades but the consequences are I didn’t have enough time of sleep, I didn’t eat just to finish my workloads, i only drink coffee, and i didn’t have time to take care of myself. The pressure is killing me. Whenever I commit any mistake shes gonna talk a lot until it brought out my past mistakes but whenever my brothers commit mistake the blame is always on me. Sometimes I think leaving this world would benefit both of us.