Respiration

I am going to be okay.  I think that I am going to be okay.  It is probably just the raised dopamine levels the amphetamines are giving me right now, but I genuinely believe that I am going to do just fine in life.  I just need to get everyone out of it, and then I can finally focus and deal with life on life’s terms, alone, and with only my perspectives and ideas about it to guide me.

I don’t need anyone to give me advice.  In fact, advice is the thing that fucks me up.

I have to hear what I’m saying, and then listen to myself.

and then obey.

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April 27, 2010

Who cares. I do it because I want to. I’m more masochistic than you know.

April 27, 2010

Also, It’s extremely insulting for you to think that what you are mentioning hasn’t crossed my mind about ten thousand times already. This is MY way of “cutting.” This is MY addiction. I will eventually evolve and grow out of it, as I have ALL of my addictions…and I might add rather effortlessly, at that. I shed my skin when I am ready, and not a second beforehand. But when I do…I leave

April 27, 2010

everything behind and never look back. It is only a matter of time and preparation. Furthermore, somehow I doubt that you are not “trying to bring me down.” What do you take me for? I will not be fettered by your arrogance any longer. *lets go of your shirt collar*

April 28, 2010

also, if you are not my “antagonist,” then I apologize for getting so worked up. I am assuming that you are because i have to. This is not a safe place for me.

April 28, 2010

I agree. Life is simpler solo. At least, for some. When I’m with some one, I need them, and when they aren’t there I feel like I need some one there. Once I get used to being alone, I couldn’t need a friend in the world. Which, apparently, some people can’t understand. It’s excellent to have company all the time, but I’m an all or nothin’ kind of guy, and ‘noting’ is alot easier to handle.