Factory rat.

I work at a factory.  Like lots of people.  I work nightshift.  Like lots of people.

Why am I so afraid of ending up like the bitter, ‘disenfranchised’, people I see working there – the ones that are ‘too smart’ to be working there, and have all the answers.  About EVERYTHING.  Literally everything [sarcasm].  I hear the words they speak, and I glean something about their worldview and it is just utterly depressing.  Wasted potential.  Complacency.  No self-discipline.

I don’t want to be like them, but I almost can’t help it right now.  Everything is happening so slowly that my brain has no choice but to go back to the old faithful nihilism.

I was happy once.  Legitimately happy.  What happened between then and now?  Events.  Some embarassing, some galvanizing.  Some awesome, and some so incredibly forgettable.

Meh.  This entry is because of my mood – which is malleable. 

I just need to keep reminding myself that.