Too much is enough

*blows wind from mouth*

Too much.

So much.

Me and my ex having been talking alot lately. Its a little hard for me. I was lied to alot. Everything. I wont go into details, but anablue, you know who Im talking about.Bringing up the past is something I dont like to do often, but I guess its good to go back some times, so you can move forward.

I spoke to some one too last nite that Ive known since the fifth grade. Its always good to hear from him, and really Im surprized he isnt in Iraq, being in the airforce and all. But he said,”Been there done that”. We can be apart so long with no contact but I feel so close to him, and I know he feels the same. Its like a love that goes deep, sort of like Catherine and Heathcliff from W.H. I feel sometimes he more me than I am. Im going to see him this summer and Im really ready for it. Its been too long.

I have so many trips coming up its ridiculous. Ohio, Lasvegas, back to Ohio then Tennesee a break for a week if Im lucky, then new york, and then north carolina. Who knows when Ill make it down to texas. I hate the fact that my job is holding me back so much. but Ill work through this.

I want to go to texas for Selena. I want to go to her store and visit the musuem. I was pondering about her today and really if she were alive, Id be a severly fanatical fan. She sang so well. She really bled her heart into the lyrics. You can hear so much beyond beauty in her voice. Singing is a wonderful meduim. Its somethign I do to releave stress, be happy or get inspired. Gone, with no answers from god, no why just done.

Here at the home front there is some one Im sweet on, but there a bit of a ditz. A very sweet ditz, though. Thats going okay.

Im happy enough, though.

The heart, emotionally speaking, has no shape or form, but it does hurt. It truly does. So the days go on and the weight of love grows.