Trying to deal

Trying to get by this weekend is harder than I thought it would be. The constant thought of what happened this time last year weighs heavily on my mind and my heart. I’m doing my best though. I haven’t brought it up and I haven’t lashed out.

He knows this would be hard for me. I let that be known a few days ago. He hasn’t said anything about it either. Then again he only sees it as just something miniscule that happened last year. The physical act was heartbreaking …but that’s not all it was. It’s how I was treated right before and right after. I know one day I will have to forgive but that’s not going to happen unless I see actual remorse. And since I haven’t seen that yet and it has been a year I’m pretty sure I’m not going to.

If I can get through the next 7 days I’ll be ok.