All by Myself

Well ladies and gentlemen,

Once again, I’ve found myself single.  I’ve been shit at updating, which is rubbish because I would have liked to have looked back to remember how happy I’ve been.  Although, I do have the tendency to edit the bad parts of a relationship too, so wouldn’t be an accurate reflection.

To keep you properly updated, about 7 weeks ago, I had a house fire.  I’d left a magnifying mirror on my windowsil and it reflected and caught my curtains alight.  Luckily, not so much was burnt, other than my bed. My collection of books (all 300+ of them!) were smoke damaged, as was majority of my furniture.  Landlord has decorated upstairs and new carpets have been fitted, so I’m back home.  Whilst waiting for them to get it all done though, I’d been living at my Mum’s – putting a real strain on everything in my life. 

Well, Mike and I were going great, I’d pretty much got a job down south so I was all ready for moving in with him.  On Easter weekend, he came up to see me and we were house-sitting for my friend Hazel.  He was being really funny about my smoking.  It was really awkward.  I know it’s bad to smoke, but with all the shit going on in my life, I needed cigarettes.  I’d told him I was going to quit when I moved, but not until then. 

The job I’d applied for was in a really quiet town down South and I’m used to working in one of the busiest city’s in Yorkshire.  I decided I wouldn’t’ be able to cope with the quiet life, particularly as I love my job so much.

So on Easter Sunday, my best friend, Chris was moving to Coventry and we were having a party for him leaving.  It started about the smoking.  Then he said he didn’t like me drinking.  Then he said he didn’t like me going to my local as it was too rough.  I was wearing a long top/dress thing with black footless tights and he asked if I was going to put some trousers on – so I told him to get stuffed.

When I looked back, I realised it wasn’t the first time he’d tried to be really controlling.  At the party, I was absolutely devastated about Chris leaving, and I realised I couldn’t cope leaving all my friends and family, so I had to tell him I couldn’t move.  He refused to move up here, so it was over.

I’ve had some messages and phone calls from him since but nothing’s going to change my mind now.  I can’t be with someone who was so controlling.  It scared the shit out of me.

Anyways, life is really good again.  I’m single, and really happy.  I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I want to be living in Yorkshire.

Just wanted to keep you updated…

xxxx