I Made A Mistake

Marrying him was such a dreadful idiotic exercise in futility.

I have reached the end of my patience with/for him.  My tone has turned to disdain and frustration.  He is a drama king with an insane family.  His $1300/month child support ensures we never have a decent life together.  His job hopping is like Josh and I’m fucking fed up with all the "things like Josh".  Since I hate Josh so much.  (Florida 2000-2001)

Absence should make the heart grow fonder, but it has not!  Not seeing him since February 2nd has made me realize how much stress and misery he adds to my life.  Too needy, too paranoid, too THIRD FUCKING GRADE BULLSHIT.

No money ahead ever and after things slowed down in December and January we are now three months behind on our life.  I know the country is in a depression, but he isn’t helping any. 

I’m ready to sell everything in the house and say FUCK IT!  Sherry (sistermom) had knee replacement Feb 8th and I’ve been with her since the 6th of Feb…. going home Friday finally.  Maybe the time at home and alone will help.  Was going to Topeka, but can’t afford to monetarily and mentally.  I’m bad down and depressed full of anger.  I can’t even talk nice to him on the phone anymore because every time he calls me it’s some blown out of proportion crisis and I’ve had eFUCKINuff.  

I REALLY need to write here every night because the crap tornado around my life is so strange that soap operas wouldn’t even touch it.  

MY LIFE, the life that is me, is trapped.  Stuck helping Sherry financially and stuck with him never making enuff money and everytime I JUST get things caught back up he needs time off, freight drops off or some other crap.

I am taking more than I am getting.  I am doing more than should be asked.  Mr. Negative Bitchy Paranoid Ass needs to straighten the fuck up or possibly consider never seeing me again.  I’ll have to vanish from him, I bet he’d be a crazy stalker like Josh too.

I can’t catch my breath from all the telephone calls and grade school drama bullshit.  This guy has to be the unluckiest mother fucker I ever met.  BAD BAD KARMA.  Never break your personal rules.  I did and now I know I’m an idiot.  He was too Josh and I knew it.

So I’m going to try to get some airbrush orders to "save our house" that we rent from his sister’s husband (he has about 30).  He owns the truck Bill is driving too.  Rent is always behind and sometimes we call it even with his payroll.  No stability, no normalcy, nothing to count on except his bitching and being paranoid and nagative.

yadayadayada

Wishing you Peace and Resolution,

Yaechle