I Lost My Wife For $50 A Week
That’s the note I want to leave, but I won’t. I’m telling him face to face when I ride to Ohio with him for a load. (read that many ways, but he is a truck driver) 😉
"Do you want to lose your great wife over $50 a week?"
Cuz that’s what it’s comin down to. Diary long timers know I’ve helped Sherry for over 10 years. Given her thousands of dollars and it has even frustrated me at times. BUT I now only give her $50/week because I’m not providing an income. He brings home about $500/week and still complains it’s not enough. He pays $175/week child support besides that. FIFTY DOLLARS! We owe his mom $3300… well he does mostly because only a few hundred could be credited to my expenses.. smokes, gas, pawn interest for my ticket and his ticket. The bank nailed us for $175 in charges last week because his check came one day late in the mail. Things are tight here, but $50/week and I’m living in a camper?? C’mon. So here’s another camel back breaking straw….
Monday my car wouldn’t start… clicking… so starter, solenoid or battery cables. Did it several months ago, but not since then cuz he cleaned cables. So he’s all ready to buy a new one, it’s gonna die, go shop blablabla Had a friend come jump it, NOTHING, bang on starter, NOTHING, sit in the seat and turn the key, cranked right up…. ain’t that always the way! It’s because he’s a mechanic, yanno cars are intimidated by them and never mess up when you get one around. BUT I went, I looked, bad awful credit means expensive payment for cheap car. Bear in mind, I’m 43 and have NEVER had a car payment. Cars are disposable items to me. Easier to junk it and get a new ride. Going to look at a 6 months same as cash place. SOOO…
Lowest payment for an SUV is near $350 for a 2002 KIA for 4 years. So I send him pix, but tell him forget it because I have to give my atty $2400 by October 26th or he’s going to dump me the night I have to go to court. The state already said I did not refuse the breathalizer due to a lack of evidence and gave me my license back… so they can’t give me a DUI ticket still, surely. Will ferret that out online, but please ask all your lawyer friends… Missouri law.
AND I said I will not pay over $300 a month for a car and live in a camper, I can be trailer trash, but that’s over the line, buddy. Then he was an asshole on the phone for the rest of the day. OVER money.
Same shit today. AND yesterday he had the nerve to ask me if I’d found a job yet? WHAT ? ME? after all the months he’s never worked??!!! I told hi, today I’d go dollar for dollar with this relationship and it’d be more even than HIS money… plus, which I have yet to journal due to typing issuws, weekend before last I tripped by the firepit while camping and caught myself with my right hand in the hot EMBERS. Yes, mother fucker I said embers and he was arguing saying "no those were the things that flew off the fire" Like I should ever listen to him when it comes to the English language! http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/embers
He said they were coals. I said it was wood. Whatever. I am lettin the typos fly now, it’s slowing me down to fix. I had my right hand wrapped from Sunday before last til yesterday. NO ONE was hiring me if I couldn’t hold a pin to apply. The doc yesterday let me leave it unwrapped now but if something touches it I scream, lose my breath and my knees buckle if I’m not sitting.
SO NO, I don’t have a job. I can’t have one, but I have my eye set on a DJ position in Springfield, MO, I’m gonna try to fluffy resume, world travel child of classic rock my way into.
His mom gets nearly $3000 a month, mine gets $900. Her gas was off all summer, so no stove, no hot water… on the 1st Economic Security may help her get it back on and she can level pay the bill out til March because they can’t turn it off before then. She’s disabled now.
She gets $17 a month in food stamps. We get more than that. To me he’s selfish and he knew about this five years ago before we got married two years ago. His full child support is $1300/month… about 300 is arrears, but he doesn’t net enough to pay all that right now.
He’s impatient and immature. His family is all a best selling soap opera if I wrote it all down, and I may have to in order to get the hell outta this crap. We have no bills now, but I spend $30-40/week in gas due to the $2.69/gal and living at least 8 miles from the nearest town. Having to run errands for him and myself. Cigarettes, yeah, please, it’s not about that.
I get all my clothes at the free store and if I wrote down what I ate every day, you would freak out. I never have an appetite. I smoke for hunger and pain. I can’t drug test anymore for at least a 30 day given period. I wanted to airbrush fulltime and it’s been too hot all summer and there’s no way I’m putting my hand near any contamination right now. I have two small puss pockets that I’m trying to will away.
I’m still paccking in my head and everything I own fits in my car agan, just like 18. At least a DeVille has more room than a Cutlass. Sherry can bring van over to help and that’s a good idea anyway, actually will bring my brother down cuz it’s an hour away, he can help lift my compressor and a few things and sstore at his house. I;m down my right pinky for now from healing and I keep reachin semi-colon before apostrophe and I’m leavin those now too.
So I think I;m so abolutely right that I can;t see past it to his side. I can’t understand that he doesn’t see it. I can’t believe he’s that stupid. Or forgetfull, when he reminds me of shit I said 2 years ago to throw in my face, like REALLY, you still carryin that around? So then I have to go there and I’m not THAAT person. WHY do I lower myself> Because it seems the onl way to reach him is to fight dirty and i;m too old and tired for that!!
I don;t want to fight. When your first marriage is better than your second, itsn’t ti time to leave! OH EWS, remember that thing you posted about same letter in different rdeor adn oru bianr cna tiswt thme instalnty
So rant rant rant… had to let that go. Did I cover everything and preview. Vicodin is great for burn pain… but that;s it. Who can function like this all the time
Wishing you Peace and Resolution,
Yaechle
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