April Fool

I have been posting nonsense on my facebook all day.  Cuz it’s April 1st and it’s creative.  I don’t interact with live people much anymore, so that’ll work.

I got a room Weds night and Jason and I got to be completely alone.  It was great.  It was too great and I know something so good is doomed, right?  i try not to focus on the difficulties in our "relationship".  The lack of physical input, but that’s the nature of my job.

I try not to be a needy lame female.  I try to give him space, but really all we do is text nearly every day and talk on the phone once a week, so how needy and demanding could I be, seriously?  It’s convenient for him too.  His life is busy with demands and responsibilities of his mom and sisters using him like the family free help and always asking and demanding, but no one takes care of him.  

I guess he works well with my Cougar Hero complex.  But it still has gaps of hungriness, but my appetite is too veracious for one human being anyways.


I limit contact with the future ex husband because he brought me down one day to the drama I hated before.  Found myself on the side of the road screaming and "angry crying".  Yelling "this is why I’m not with you".  All his negative energy drains me.  It took my body two days to come back from that.  I told him I left him for my health and well being and that’s right on target.  At that EXACT moment, Jason called me.  Which was so odd because he doesn’t call often and the timing was just what I needed to get back to me.  THEN we talked for an hour, for the first time ever.  


Neither of us like to talk on the phone, so that’s cool.  We text as we can.  It’s a weird thing, but we don’t really have much of a choice because our lives don’t have time for a "conventional" interaction that most of "you" have.  Prolly no future either, but it’s fun now.


Except when it’s frustrating and lonely.  


Been off work.  Supposed to go back tomorrow.  Could be Monday.  Whatever.

Wishing you Peace and Resolution,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yaechle