The True Holly

I tried to be nice. I tried to apologize to her for breaking her heart. I tried to offer my friendship no matter what because I do still care about her, I do still hope she finds happiness. I tried I tried I tried, and she cut me down. She made it very clear that she hates me and doesn’t care what happens to me ever. She obviously doesn’t want to be friends. She wants nothing to do with me. She’d rather hurt me more then anything I guess to pay me back just because I broke up with her after 3 years of it NOT working out only due to her behavior and selfishness in not only my mind but everyone else I know minds.
I would never admit it to anyone usually but I don’t see any reason why not to. She obviously hopes to break my heart so badly, well she succeeded. I don’t really know what else to say but she succeeded.
I can’t see how someone could hate me that quickly, just drmatically change that much and already be with someone else apparently… I have no choice but to think despite all the times she begged me to stay before and how hard she fought to keep me, she had to of been faking it. She had to have been wanting this other person all along. She had to have already built up this hatred for me a long long time ago but never wanted to let it out because she couldn’t believe it herself. She has really shown her true colors. She has as close to literally as possible, grabbed my heart ripped it out and threw it away… and it hurts, it hurts more then I ever imagined it would having never felt sincerely broken hearted like this before…
All I wanted was to offer her peace and friendship. All I wanted was to let her know I still cared and that I’d be there for her no matter what. I told her that in every word. And still she cuts me down, and puts me down, and makes me feel like a worthless piece of shit. She takes the indestructible oh so cold heart of Ryan Bates tears it in two with just a few texts…
I mean how could someone I loved and was engaged to suddenly hate me, I mean HATE me now..? I don’t hate her…
Well all I have left with her now is anger. She has done the one thing that I honestly can’t remember anybody else ever being able to do, break my heart. And this confuses me, this makes me feel so bad about myself, makes me feel so down and I hate and nor do I feel like I deserve it. I wanted to be friends, I wanted to show her i still cared in someway so she didn’t feel so abandoned. But NO, she cut me down, she tore me to shreds and she loves it. Well fuck her. I’m done. I thought my heart was cold before but now I realize it was always missing the one key ingredient to a cold heart, being broken. NOW it is cold and now it is feeled with a rage like I’ve never known.
I don’t know what is to come… I don’t know what I’ll do… I don’t know if I care…