I’m Losing My Mind

I Think I Love You
09/16/05
By: Ryan Bates

Why do I feel this,
Why can’t I let go?
Feels like our first kiss,
Never grew old.

I said goodbye to you,
I said goodbye to us.
It’s what I had to do,
Yet, it hurts so much.

I thought I’d be ok.
I thought I’d move on.
Instead I feel pain,
And now you’re gone.

I know you’re wrong.
I have to be right.
Yet every love song,
Inside makes me cry.

Without you I feel off.
But with you I feel stuck.
I used to be your rock,
But I guess I’m not so tough.

You’re all I dream,
You haunt me every night..
Repulsed by this infectious need,
Yet drawn in without a fight.

My whole being yearns for you,
Yet I know you’re wrong for me.
I feel like such a fool,
You fuel such rage in me.

I know what I’m feeling,
I wish it wasn’t true.
I need spiritual healing,
                                                                                Because I think I love you.

"Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams, your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me."  -Evanescence ‘My Immortal’

I can’t get your face, your smell, your taste, everything about you, everything you are I cannot rid of me.  No matter how hard I try or how bad I want you to be gone, even though you are you’re really not, gone.  Because I swear I see you every single night, whether it be real or not I see you and you’re there in front of me and I find myself reaching to you, wanting to touch you just one more time, but I know that I cannot and that I should not even try.  I love you so much, I love you more then I could ever love myself or possibly any other being on this planet, yet I can’t have you, nor do I want you.  Do you have any idea how it feels to love someone you know is wrong for you?  I don’t understand how someone who drives me insane, someone who irritates the hell out of me can so easily bring me to my knees in tears, desperate just to be around you.  I need to forget you, I have to move on and I don’t know yet how I am going to do that, but I have to try, but deep down I hate it, I sincerely hate the fact that I don’t want to, I don’t want to forget you… 
09/16/05