Want I wish I could tell you YOU (not a poem)

When we talked on the phone last,

I wanted to tell you it was the best moment of my life.  To hear your voice again made me feel like I was stuck in time.
To be honest, I’ve never felt this way before.  I have loved you since 2001.

Is it wrong that I should feel this way?? Absolutely, it’s wrong! I tell myself that everyday.  You are with someone else; and all I want is for your happiness.

However, my heart contradicts my words. Here’s what I wished I told you:

I have been stuck on you since I looked over your direction in our 7th grade language arts class.  Since then, I thought about you every day.

I thought about your greenish, hazel eyes, your dark hair, your hands, how you looked really good in red (lol), and so much more!  And I absolutely LOVE IT when you smile at me.

I am literally paralyzed when you “check me out”, staring at my legs especially.  I miss the way you bit your lip when you did so, even while you tried to cover it up.

I wish I took advantage of certain moments with you or took more risks just so I can have more beautiful memories to remember you by.

I’ll be honest with you, that last part is a lie.  Because I want those moments with you NOW.  I know I am not suppose to, but if you were here with me, I would let you have any way you want with me.  You can stare, touch, embrace, kiss, and much more.

I wish I can talk to you again.

What I wish I could say… is that I love you.  Deeply.

I will love you til’ the end of time.  Nothing will change.

I wish for all the happiness in the world to come your way.