Late Night Thoughts

Let’s be honest.  I am a terrible human being.

I just can’t help the way I feel about you.

You collided into me like an asteroid hitting Earth all those years ago.  That’s what it felt like, anyway.

And now I feel like I am caught up into you.  I have dreams about you sometimes. It felt so real, at times.

I melt when you are around.

Yes.  I stalk your social media platforms.  🤦🏻‍♀️, just to see how you are doing.

I feel like an idiot.  After all these years, I am still just as crazy about you as I was back then.

Now, we are both married.  This is why I said I am a terrible person.  Though I love my husband, he’s not you.  Again, it’s terrible.

I want to move on, but I can’t.  I’ve literally tried!  I’ve tried praying for the feelings to go away.  I’ve tried forcing myself to be angry or hate you; or to be mad at you for past situations.  I have done a 1000 stupid things to try to get over you.

But I can’t.

You torture my heart everyday.  I keep this all close to the chest.  If you notice, it’s eating me ALIVE!

I would give anything just to have 1 night with you.  Even though it’s not enough time to express how I truly feel about you, I would take it!

I know I have to move on.  I’m trying.

You are the love of my life.  You mirrored me in so many ways!  From our interests … down to our life experiences.  It’s like you were put here for me.

I am truly love sick.  I have been for 19 years.  Just the smallest moments, I wish I could have with you.

That’s my late night thoughts.  I love you.  I always have and I always will.  I wish for your happiness, even if it’s not with me.  I will love you until you are a wrinkly, old man.  Ha ha.

I need to sleep this off.