Feeling resentful
Dear Diary,
I am feeling unfairly resentful and stroppy and bleugh!
Every second and fourth Tuesday I help out at the old dears’ club in the village. Meant to be for over 50s but is in reality over 75s. A place for them to get together and socialise play bingo or beetle drive or whatever. It was decided that come this new year we would start to offer lunches. Just soup and a roll.
They used to have lunches but the lady that cooked left and my friend D took over but doesn’t cook. Bakes like an angel but can’t cook. So soup duty is mine.
It was meant to be a shared duty the emphasis on me doing the cooking but D helping out with chopping or peeling and doing the grunt work as I can’t actually reach the super large pans (when they are on the hob in church hall) from my wheelchair.
Problem is D has torn the ligaments in her pelvis. There’s nothing to be done about it.
This means I am doing soup on my own. So will have to make at home, somehow get to the car, drive down without slopping it everywhere and then somehow get soup and wheelchair into the most inaccessible building I have yet to come across. D normally carries chair up all the steps for me and I take my time ascending on my sticks. D cannot be lifting soup or chair so it is going to be interesting.
In addition to that I have had to do all shopping for said soup and will have to claim money back which again really isn’t a big deal as only £10. most of it has been done or is stuff I already had left over from Xmas but I still need to get dinner rolls and that means I am going to have to go to Tescopoloy this morning.
I hate Tesco at the best of times!
And the house phone was ringing as I got through the door after doing the school run and it was Tris – he has forgotten his school shirt so can I please drop one off? Preferably before 11:15.
Have to be at church hall, looking happy, smiley and presentable. With soup, and rolls bu 11:45. It is currently 09:24 and I have done nothing so far.
I want to whinge that it isn’t fair. I am fed up of running around after other people. I have Tuesdays and Thursdays off work as rest days. knackered after first day back yesterday and I want to be selfish and have rest day for me, to rest.
And blah, blah, blah.
In the grand scheme of things I am not being asked to do a lot and that little I am doing makes a big difference to others and I need to buck up and get over myself.
Just wanted to have a whinge
Fi
Hmmmm…Fi. Talk to your therapist on this one. In the grand scheme of things, you are making other people happy and that’s great and I know that you are a wonderful person. But there is making soup and making soup. What you have just described is a physical challenge at best and not something that you should even be contemplating doing. Lifting saucepans full of soup for 25 people….up stairs…Fi, I understand that D can’t do it, but then she should find someone to help you, because you shouldn’t be doing it either. I know I’m nagging you. I’m sorry. I just know that I used to do things like this. I don’t like that my life is more selfish now, but I am out of the throws of ME and that’s a gift of life in itself.
Warning Comment
Why not stop doing the soup and say it is too much work or get someone else to make the soup and just oversee it? I say this as someone who has had to give up helping provide a place to sleep for women in Bristol on Wednesday nights. It is the way it is sometimes I think. Is Tris old enough to take the consequences of forgetting his shirt himself perhaps?
Warning Comment
A totally understandable whinge – I find it a hard balance between pushing myself (necessary for me) and accepting physical things (if it is necessary). Love to you xx
Warning Comment
Good to read you Fi
Warning Comment
Winge away. That’s what we’re here for.
Warning Comment
You can’t do everything! You do so much already. Don’t overdo it! CD xxx
Warning Comment
I think I would seriously look at this one and maybe find bottles to travel the soup around in if you need to continue. i probably would not if it involves so much hardship.
Warning Comment