The Luckier One?

I look like the one who has it all together and he’s the one who’s messed up.  Superficially, that is exactly how it is.  He does drugs…pot, LSD, ecstasy, supposedly and probably cocaine…drinks, parties all the time, and didn’t go to college.  I got a scholarship to college, made straight A’s, and have never tried drugs or alcohol.  But I don’t have it together, and I often wonder who’s worse off.  He doesn’t hide his problems from the world.  And while I may seem problem free, I swear to god I have avoidant personality disorder that hasn’t been diagnosed yet because I’m too fricking scared to go see a therapist, and I deal with it by trying to be perfect.  So who’s the luckier one?  The one who people see as fucked up or the one that people totally miss anything being wrong?