Move past but not obviously

 I’m trying to find a way to move past this.  Except, more specifically, I’m trying to find a way to mentally move past while not making it seem like I’m totally over it.  I don’t want to just brush over it and nobody get the point of why I was upset.  Frankly, I want to see a therapist/psychologist?..not really sure…   I want somebody to make me go.  I want to go but I can’t.  I feel like I’m just over exaggerating my problems and that they’re going to say that I’m fine and need to just get over it.  I feel like I’m not worth their time…like I’m just a paycheck.  I feel embarrassed..really embarrassed..by my problems.  Maybe that’s why I’m so upset…because the words she said — "My life sucks when you’re home…well sorry I actually have friends to go out with." — hit my insecurities.  I feel like I don’t really have friends.  I have like people that I can talk to at work or classes, but I don’t see them outside.  and  I want to hang with them outside, but whenever an opportunity arises, I can’t bring myself to go because..because I don’t know…I feel like its just easier to not go out.  

I just want to be forced to see a therapist, but I know that’ll never happen, so here I am.