If I could stop one human emotion from existing, which one would it be? B

Desperation.

Is that a human emotion?

I’m desperate to stop being lonely. Desperate to feel wanted. Desperate to stop the suffering.

I was doing well with my eating disorder. Then my fiancé asked for alone time after work. I don’t know what it is, but alone time after work makes me feel.. well.. lonely. I love alone time on weekend mornings. It’s just that alone time after work reminds me of times I came home to an empty house all alone. It reminds me of times my friends and family rather spend time with anyone other than me.

It’s been three weeks, and the odd weeks have proven to be more difficult. This week I binged and was somewhat unable to purge. Since this alone time thing, I’ve started purging with him in the house. I’m worried he heard me this time, but I wasn’t worried enough to not engage.

I’m desperate not to feel what I feel. They say that acceptance is the key to happiness; hence, I want desperation erased. That way, maybe I can accept what I feel.