Non Productive Evening

So even though I picked up an extra shift yesterday afternoon, I am back to my *normal* schedule this evening and am at work being utterly bored. Sundays are always slow. Never really any in house work and just a few people coming in before 3 a.m that want some type of help with special projects.

I rather like my job. Even though I’d much rather work during the day. Couple more months and I’ll have my day shift back. We had a man that just came in to ship a package internationally and it was a live animal. I was like…umm I’m not keeping that in here with me all evening. I think not. We don’t ship animals dude. Needless to say he was pissed lol.

I don’t know what is wrong with me lately. I really just think I’m either manic depressive or bi-polar. I’m so tired of my moods changing and not knowing why I feel the way I do. I’m pushing Kasi away again. I honestly couldn’t ask for more. She’s absolutely wonderful to me. She’s now everything that I’ve ever wanted her to be…but I’m so distant.

I’ve lost my sex drive. God that really sucks. I really try to be intimate with her and half of the time I’m just so tired I don’t feel like it and it makes me feel bad. I don’t want to be afraid that she is going to go else where. Which I know in my head she isn’t going to because we are planning for the baby and everything. I don’t know…it’s just hard. What’s hard…that I don’t know. Everything just feels so hard.

My dad won’t even talk to me about having a baby. He loves me, and he wants me to be happy, but that is one thing he will never agree with me on, nor, ever support. Blah…I don’t know.

Payed bills this month. All caught up on everything and still have extra money. That’s wonderful. I payed off the washer and dryer. Woo hoo! We’re starting to plan our trip to Cali. Things look so wonderful on the outside…then why do I feel so empty on the inside?

Ida know. I’m off to do whatever and god knows what lol.

*Lease*