Long Awaited

So I’m sitting here at 6:40 in the morning at work. I can’t remember the last time I wrote in here, so I can’t remember the last thing I wrote.

I got a new/better job. I feel more Hrm…progressed? I don’t know. I work for FedexKinkos. I like it. It’s fun, professional, better pay…great benefits. Everything is wonderful with that aspect.

I just bought a washer/dryer. YAY! for raises in salary.

Kasi, Darrilyn and I are all settled into our beautiful, spaces 2 bedroom apartment. Although I would still at times wish that it were just Kasi and I, I still love how things are.

Kasi and I have our ups and downs. I guess that is always expected. I wish though we could get along. I wish things hadn’t changed somewhere along the line. I’m not seeking out anything else in life, and we are still talking about wedding and baby and everything of that sort. I guess I just wish it wouldn’t of taken her so long to realize that love that I have/had for her. She tells me now that she finally let herself love me. And I’m thinking…well then what did you feel when you cried for me to move back in September? Loneliness? Comfort? Eh..I don’t know. I still have my doubts, I can’t help that. That’s me. I’m still skeptical…that’s me too. But I am still very much in love and I am still very much growing as an individual and as a partner.

Oh! Kasi also got a job with FedexKinkos. hehe..yay! She went from working part-time at $6 an hour to fulltime 8.25 an hour. I’m so happy. That means more money for us to save and we can finally redo our bedroom. She gave her mom and dad our headboard when we moved cause she didn’t like it…so now I want a canopy bed, but she said it’s too frilly. I love them though.

I feel old. I don’t go out, I don’t really even veture outside of the house except if we go and visit Kasi’s family in Houma and to work, and Darrilyn’s work. But to be honest, even with my lack of communication to the outside world since I’ve limited friendships, I am finally content in life. I have finally found some sort of happiness that I am ok to admit to.

I talked to Alisha around the time that I got this job. I was happy becuase for once I could be proud of who I have become since her and I split up. And what’s funny…she’s gone to school for 6 years and is back in school now and I now make just as much money as she does. And she’s the one that said that I wouldn’t amount to anything.

Thanks Alisha. You gave me the power to drive myself to where I am today. The one thing you did right in our relationship is give me the power to become the person you said I never would be. :o)

I’m outta here. One more hour and it’s to bed I go!!! :o)

*Lease*