And it hits…

I’ve been trying really hard to be strong and positive. I’ve applied to several jobs in the last couple of days…but for anyone that knows me…knows that I am very impatient.

I lost my house. I lost some belongings. I lost my job but most of all I think I lost a pieace of me. The pieace of me that was built up along this last year and a half. The pieace of me that kept me going and kept telling me that I could do it.

I had so much going for me. I had so much pride in myself and although I know the hurricane wasn’t my fault *well duh* I just feel lost I just feel hurt. I can’t reason with myself and I can’t reason with all of this.

The last 2 days I’ve just layed in the bed. There ain’t much abrewin in Houma, La lol. There aren’t many jobs…there aren’t many things…but right now with so many people evacuated to this town cause of Hurricane Katrina…that makes Apartments and jobs VERY rare.

I’m 21…just a high school graduate with a couple of jobs under her belt but I REFUSE to work at a job where I have to ask if they want fries with that or 2 hot apple pies for ONLY a dollar like I’m making the highlight of somebodys day.

I had a great job. A wonderful job. That I loved that I was prospering in. But…I can’t afford to drive back and forth everyday and they don’t have my job in Houma and my apartment is WASTED in New Orleans. We got out of our lease without having to pay anything after arguing with the dumbass people who wanted us to pay for Septembers rent when we couldn’t live there cause it was infested with MOLD!

My eyes hurt and I’m just babbling. I’m just down today…needed to vent. Need to quit feeling sorry for myself but I can’t even think with the 11 people here because Kasi’s grandma and Uncle both lost their houses due to Hurricane Rita and now we are all forced to be with one another until further notice. *sigh*

Life will prevail ONE DAY!!

<3 Lease.