I wonder what life means….
I’m 71 now. 71 and 6 months and a couple weeks. I have an age in mind to die. 78 seems about perfect to me. My money should last that long. My health should last that long. 78 gives me time to sort things out. And then I just wave bye bye and go.
Sounds perfect, doesn’t it?
Of course life doesn’t work that way.
I had assumed my husband and I would have a 50 wedding anniversary. After all we married young and in spite of everything we stayed married. But. He died the day after Christmas 15 yrs ago and we did not make it to 50 yrs.
I then assumed I’d find someone else to share my life with. I was in my 50s and I assumed I had a lot of life left (until 78 anyway) and I assumed I’d meet maybe someone who met my needs better than my husband had. But. I never came close to meeting anyone who I wanted to be with or who wanted to be with me.
So here I am. At my mother’s kitchen table. In my mother’s kitchen. In my LLBean robe. Finishing my pot of coffee mixed 50/50 with 1% fat milk.
I’m not alone. I live with my unmarried farmer son. We get along pretty well. Ups and downs of course. Since I quit working last May it’s been different. But still ok, I guess and hope. I hope I can make it to 78. I don’t like the sound of 88 or 98…. forget the 100s.
Oh and I have a dog too.
I’m much younger than you are, but I worry about what will happen when I’m older and the money is gone. I won’t have a son to live with.
It’s strange to think that we both hope that we don’t have to live too long.
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I am 59 years old now and I thought I would meet someone and possibly marry again after my divorce. It’s been over ten years now and that hasn’t happened. I dated a man for a summer but then he went away and that was that. It’s good that he went away because I truly was not romantically in love with him. He was more a friend to me. Since then, he’s passed away. Life is interesting isn’t it. The twists and turns that we take and the surprises that we encounter along the way.
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I guess I have a different outlook than a lot of people. I want to live forever. I don’t want there to be an end for me. I want to see what the future holds for us. Even thinking about it makes me sad.
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I’m not sure exactly why…But this was one of my favorite entries to read ever. And I started this thing in 2001.
@thekatinthehat – agreed.
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We do tend to think about our expire dates at the ages we are now. I want to live as long as I’m not hurting or bedridden. I want to go at home hopefully.
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life certainly seems to take turns we never expect, or so have been my experience,
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This one made me cry.
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How is Gracie doing? I’ve missed reading your entries over the last few years…
@nativewoman I love that you remember Gracie. I will post a picture soon. I’m not taking pictures – and I should I know. Anyway, Gracie will be ten this fall. She is in pretty good shape. She’s always bee a really active dog and her joints are giving her a little trouble. We give her aspirin every morning. She’s still very lively and happy and strong willed, no doubt looking forward to the baby rabbit season because she really likes them. I haven’t been able to get to your diary here. I think of you a lot and your life and wonder how you’re doing. Are you back in Michigan?
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