Mixing Bowl

Everything is all mixed around inside me right now… I’m really, truly hurting, but I’m also really having a good time in life.

It just happens at different times in different ways. I feel like that game where you hit the plunger with a mallet and it sends the little metal thing up to hit a bell….. High one minute, rock bottom the next.

Faith has made it perfectly clear she wants nothing to do with me ever again. I was at Chip’s house, and she started talking to him on AIM and telling him how I was a bitch and evil and she wanted nothing to do with me. She made reference to a sincere, apologetic e-mail I had sent her… saying I was being all fake and sweet through it all… and seems to be under the impression that she was making me feel “dignified” by not answering back, or some such nonsense. I felt very betrayed through the whole ordeal… because she seemed to make me into someone much more terrible than I really am, and finds it all to be some goddamn game. Is she the blessed being character while I play Satan or what?

I was trying to rekindle a friendship that had endured five years…

The candle blew out… and I’m tired of giving a damn about it.

Outside and away from that situation… mainly, play rehearsal, is absolutely amazing. I’m making new friends that are just a ton of fun and have a lot of the same interests as me. The director complimented me last night by telling one of the board members that I’m one of the best dancers in the group.

Tonight after rehearsal, a bunch of us went to The Spot to eat (and drink, for those with the appropriate IDs). First it was just me, Jennybeth, Sal, and Michael… but then Brian arrived, followed not long after by Josh, Valerie, Mary, and Aaron. The original four of us wound up moving three times.. from a small booth, to a 6 person booth, to tables that we pulled together for everyone to fit at.

Mary made Jennybeth try her first blowjob shot… it was hilarious, because Jennybeth couldn’t fit her mouth around the shot glass, so Mary helped her out. They were havign a blast, and I reeaaalllyyy wished I was 21 (or had a fake ID) so I could join the festivities. Alas, however, no such luck.. I’ll be patient (somewhat).

After a few drinks, Jennybeth was a little too blitzed for me to feel okay about letting her drive home, so I drove her car to her house, Michael followed, then took me back to The Spot to get my car.

It was quite an experience, riding with Jennybeth. I found out tonight that she’s bisexual, and she told some rather interesting stories along the way. Kept me amused.

Good thing I’m pretty laidback about alternative lifestyles. Or else I might’ve freaked when she groped me to compliment my breasts -LOL-

Anyways.. I’ll tell you about Wednesday night later…