Correct Punishment?

I wish I could be punished for failing to write in here. I normally turn to my diary when things are going bad and I can’t handle all the bad thoughts in my head, but I got the urge yesterday and I wouldn’t say I’m going through a bad time. Its been months as usual. My time managment is crap. I have lists and deadlines but when it comes to my personal life I never meet deadlines.

We went to Bruges and Paul proposed. He attempted it at the top of the bell tower but I had a panic attack about 3/4 of the way up because of the height and the crowdiness and the tightness. So I ruined his plan and we came back down. Obviously I didn’t know I’d ruined his plan at this point! He proposed on our lastnight there after panicing that it might not happen if he doesn’t. It was nice. It was dark, the markt was empty and he got down on one knee. It was amazing.

Since then I have had a stressful few months. I moved teams at work and they are a hell of a lot busier, but I’m happier there than with the last team of drama hungry girls. I have fun, something I never had previously. My nana became more and more distant, but we kept going. She died in March. Up until then my head was in the clouds, we all knew it was near, but she kept hanging in there and dragged it out a few months. Waiting is hard. Those few months were exhausting. Then she died and I barely cried, and still haven’t, whch plays on my mind alot, but I can’t make myself cry, I just hope its not all bottled up inside of me, expanding, waiting to come out and make me depressed again.

Also, whilst all this was going on, our lease was up on our house so we had 6 weeks to find a new house. Luckily I found the perfect house on my second viewing and we moved house at the beginning of this month.

Now I have put the past four months down in writing I guess it explains why I have been tired and stressed out recently.

Things with Paul and I are great though. I love living with him.

I’m having issues with an electric company who we had trouble with in our old house. They say I owe them money for the first month I was there, but I have paid the company I registered with so clearly I don’t. They are a rubbish company. Their customer service is open 9 till 6 (the hours I work!) and they aren’t open weekends. When I call them on my lunch I’m on hold too long so I have to hang up. I get text messages from them saying I owe them money and to call immediately. The last text message I got they threatened me with debt collections at an interest rate of 15% a day unless I got in touch straight away… guess what… engaged or on hold too long. I sent an email, which they allow 20 days to respond! 20 days at 15% a day! They aren’t open this weekend due to the bank holiday. I’m now not sleeping. The bastards! Its so unfair!