Catch Up/Random thoughts

There is so much I’d like to journal about.  Like Mother’s Day #2.  Like Robert.  Like my Grandma.  I feel I can never catch up with what I want to write cuz there is still so much to do at home. 
When I have a day off it is FULL with taking care of Robert, Roy, Dylan, and TRYING to get something done in the upper house or in our home.   There is just not enough time in the day to do it all.  I drink coffee and chew nicotine gum every day to keep going…  Roy gets mad about the gum, but damn it, I would RATHER have a smoke!!  It’s been almost 2 years since I had a grit.  And I intend on keeping it that way, but with all the stress we’ve been having it is hard not to remember how much I enjoyed smoking.
Let me just make a little note about my Grandma Levin.  I called her today to wish her a belated Happy Mother’s Day because when I called her on mother’s day she was not there to answer.  She has no answering machine or cell phone.  She wants calls in the evening always.  The evening is the hardest time for me to call anyone cuz of all I need to do.  So when I called her the conversation was BRIEF.  She doesn’t much like to chat on the phone and besides.  She was about to have dinner after returning from the casino.  She said her dinner is always the same when she comes back.  Cereal and milk with strawberries, coffee and toast.  HOW CUTE!!  I hope I get to see her soon as it’s been a while and I miss her.  I’m so lucky to still have both Grandmothers.  
My Little Grim was pleased when I called her to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.  She said it was the first call she got.  I think my brother may have called her first, though and she couldn’t take the call.  She’s been praying for us every night that we may rent our upper house and keep our property.  We’ve had more calls since we listed it in the tribune, but still no one has filled out an application.
We keep listing Roy’s cars for sale over and over in Craigslist and in the Reader.  Still, no one has bought even one of his cars.  Dang it!!  that’s less $$ for us and more cars to take up space on our property.  I really hope our property rents.  Roy has been working almost ALONE in that house repainting and repairing everything.  I just have no time to help him if Robert is awake.  
Well,  I want to journal about Robert’s first birthday but don’t know if I have the energy.  I still need to make coffee for tomorrow.  

We are trying to get a loan modification on our home.  I am using a company called HOPE NOW to help us with getting this done.  the woman who I spoke to on the phone said to call her if I have any problems, etc.  So I called on Monday.  Now I have not got a call back.  It’s Tuesday night.  I need to know whether or not to make a payment on our mortgage.  It’s due now.  It SUX that she won’t call me back.  

Dylan  is driving me crazy.  He talks back (or mutters under his breath) ALL THE FREAKIN TIME.  I actually had to tell him to get out of the house and to go help his father outside so I could be done with it for a while.  He leaves his stuff all over the place.  There’s always a shirt of his, inside out, on my bed.  He leaves his cell phone all over the place.  His helmet is left in my car with his party bag with candy melting.  He left his hot cheetos bag opened in my beach bag and then red shit go all over my clothes when they spilled out.  When I ask him to save on water bottles and to just use one during the day, (and refill it when he wants more filtered water) he goes and uses them ALL and leaves them HALF EMPTY on the counter so there are none for anyone else.  When I took him to a one year old’s birthday party that Robert and I were invited to, he decided he wanted one of the party bags he scoped out on the table in the house of the party.  I told him to leave them alone until he was invited to take one.  So he asks the hostess if he can have one!!  Now that I am looking back at the situation, I remember the hostess telling me as we were leaving that she would offer us party bags, but that Dylan already had his…  kind of embarassing.  And believe me, when I tell him about it, he will scowl at me and act like he can’t handle the instruction to not do that again.  Like I am just against him.  When he really needs to start growing up a little bit.  I have instructed him to start making a DAILY LIST of his responsibilities so I can stop nagging him daily about the same shit. (his chores)   I told him when he finally takes responsibility for himself I won’t need to remind him of anything, cuz he’ll already be on top of it.  I told him to check his snapgrades daily to find out what missing assignments he has or what he should be working on.  So one night he checks it.  the next day I ask him to get working on his missing assignments.  He tells me he needs to get online to look at snapgrades.  I ask why? didn’t he just look at it the night before?  The missing assignments wouldn’t have changed…  Well, yes, he did look at it the night before.  But didn’t write ANYTHING down – just kinda blankly stared at it, I guess.  I guess he just looked to see what it said, but didn’t feel that any of the information needed to be jotted down for future reference.  Was I that dim as a child???  Seriously.  I have to tell him every step to take in order to get on track.  I put clean clothes on his desk for him to put away today.  So I know he came over here after school, but are his clothes in his dresser now??  Hell no.  He just moved them over a few inches on his desk and left them there.  So I can TELL him to put them away tomorrow.  Am I mean?  Anal??  Obsessing??  I don’t THINK so.  I think I’m just venting a LOT of frustration about a child that is not my child.  And he is quite a handful.  I guess I could ignore his responsibilities, and go about my day not worrying about what he is doing or supposed to be doing.  I could let him just slack off and skate all day every day to no fucking end.  That’s another thing that is BUGGING.  His damn skating injuries.  Always hurting himself (and why wouldn’t he when all he does is try to do more skateboard tricks without wearing any protective gear – except the helmet which we have FORCED him to do)  He’s got one totally bruised up knee and then he’s complaining the other day about hurting his OTHER knee.  Gee, I’m sure the knee pads we bought him wouldn’t have helped in these situations.  I told him the other day that I am unwilling to put much effort into helping him get to skate, go to skateparks, or help him get sponsored when I feel he is not making smart choices.  I told him if he protected himself more it would be a whole different story and I’d be way more willing to help him get to cool places to skate.  But as a prudent parent I cannot let him ignore his responsibilities or not try to get his body protected while he flips his skateboard out from under himself constantly.  
I just got an email tonight about 2 major assignments he has due in English.  I bet when I ask him what homework he has tomorrow it will be math and nothing else.  He won’t even probably KNOW he has 2 major assignments.  It’s like stuff goes in one ear and out the other.  I swear.  (and I’m SURE I’ve heard my mother say those exact words before)  *sigh*