Is life a world of suffering

Dear diary

Haven’t write in the diary for so long.  I just don’t have the mood to write here anymore.  I am really worried about my exam results, as I  think I did badly for my papers, so I am quite upset.  The waiting is such a suffering…….I am at loss as to what I should, what should do? Which is the right way out? I really don’t know what to do.

Is life a world of suffering? At least for now, I think it is. Why do everyone of us have to face so much troubles, challenges, problem, hardship, disappointment and suffering in this world? Why can’t I just have a life that free from  worries, burden, hardship, pain and tears? Why is life so meaningless for me? I really have no motivation to do anything, I am so hurt, I am so miserable in my heart. God please help me, please just give me a peaceful life, I am really so tired, I always try so hard in whatever I do but why is the outcome always so disappointing. Why am I so disappointed in myself, sometimes I really hate myself, why can’t I do anything correctly……..Why do Man have to suffer so much in this world? God, someone once told me that God love me so much, even much more than my parents, but why did he bare to let suffer, why did he bare to let me cry in sadness, why did he bare to let unhappy things happen in my life, he should have prevented them from happening to me no matter what. Jesus, I am so hurt, can you remove all those pain from my life? Can you give me a miracle, please give me a miracle?

I really don’t hope for much now, I really don’t dare hope for too much, I just hope that I can have peaceful life, and that life can proceed smoothly for me, I just wish I can graduate from my university with my degree next year, find a stable job and just live on life like this.  Even if  I can’t find happiness  forever, even if  I am not happy for the  rest of my life, as long as…….as long as I am no longer hurt again, as long as sufferings don’t befall me again, as long as I don’t have to go through all those again, I will be content.

In the name of Jesus, Amen.

falling snow