Heart shattered
Dear diary
How wish all these is like a dream now…
When I first go to NLB for a temp job, it’s just like a place for me to hide myself, to forget all those unhappy memories, to excape those reality that I don’t want to face.
I didn’t expect myself to meet her. I didn’t expect to meet someone like her, someone who worry for me, someone who cares for my well being, someone who can easily see through me (those pain and sadness that I trying so hard to hide), someone who makes feel loved and pampered again, someone who can touched my cold heart, someone who can spot my tears.
For a long time, I was no longer existing in this real world. After being hurt so badly in life, after being so disappointed in life, I didn’t have the ability to love myself or anyone else. I cannot trust anyone, the only one I could bring myself to trust is only God. I can turn to the only safe place I know within myself. I can only bring myself to live in my own world.
I didn’t know when I have gotten so attached to her, to the place, it’s only 5 months, yet the pain I am feeling now it like it’s been 5 years, the pain of leaving a place, I didn’t know that I can no longer bring myself to leave the place.
When I know, my relationship, my fate with them ended the day I have realised I have finally found the little true love/concern. My heart is so shattered, my heart is so in pain. Why must this be the end? From the day I left, I know I can never return to them again, I can never go back again, it’s just so heartbreaking, to leave someone you are starting to love.
How long will it take?
How long will it take for this pain to go off?
How long will it take for me to face them again?
falling snow
It’s so rare to have such a deep, powerful connection with someone like what you and her had. Unfortunately, some people that we imagine ourselves to be with forever are only meant to be in our lives for a certain amount of time. They pour into our lives, and then the relationship ends, and we’re alone again, but we’re different from who we were before because of how they impacted our life.
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I can’t speak from the experience of having been in love, but last February I had to let my closest, longest-lasting friendship go. It was really tough and I wondered why God brought them in my life just to take them away again, but Sarah was only meant to be in my life for 6 years, during which time she enriched my life a lot, but now we’ve gone our separate ways and I know that we both…
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… impacted and changed each other’s lives. It’s definitely not easy to go through when you’re in the middle of it, but later when you look back, you’ll be able to appreciate her as someone who enriched your life for a short while and taught you things about life and about yourself, and then left you to take those lessons you learned from her and carry on by yourself. Love and hugs, annie
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