Food for thought?

Dear diary

I really want to write an entry on my thoughts lately……….

Yesterday, I saw a blind old man wearing black sunglasses on the bus all by himself, and he was holding a foldable stick in his hand, I really admire his courage because he really look like any other normal people, I am amazed that he even knew when to alight the bus and he could make his way back with his stick, I really think he’s so independent, steady and cool.

It’s been raining cats and dogs lately, brought back many memories, doesn’t rain just bring back those memories deep in your mind even though you didn’t want to think about them too much? But I think I have somehow sorted out some of my thoughts that I feel much relieved, I think I can let go most of those past that I have grabbing onto so much, Though, I don’t think I can let go all of them now but I think I can do it utimately, I really wish I can find back myself, I really wish I still can achieve my dreams. In the past, I had many many dreams and wishes that I really wish I can achieve but now my only hope is I can do very well for exams, find a good job that I love and enjoy, earn lots of money, that’s about it. I think I maybe too greedy for more in the past that why I am so disappointed in the end when realised that I can’t achieve them no matter how hard I try so now I think I should treasure what I have instead of asking for more and more, human are just so greedy in nature………I just hope my life can go a smooth sailing from now on, no more frustrating problems, tears, pain and unhappiness. I should leave all my burdens on God, for he will help me, I trust him, I believe in him.

Sometimes, I feel like crying, I also don’t know what the reason, I am just such a crybaby. I am so sentimental and sensitive….I just like to cry when watching a really sad and heartbreaking drama or movie, I just like to feel emotional when listening to a touching song, I just like to be like this………….

My aunt just got a maid recently to take care of my sick grandma, my grandma has alzhemier disease, so she will sometimes lose her temper, and start to lose many of her memory, it’s really sad………but I still hope grandma can live longer and not forget all the memories. I am getting closer to grandma day by day though I don’t show it too much but I love my grandma. Grandma, Sarang Hae! Apparently, my aunt is not that pleased with the maid because she’s slower in doing housework and she doesn’t know how to take good care of grandma, I also understand this but sometimes I just feel for those maids who have to leave their hometown and come to other countries, and work for others…..I bet life is tough for them too.

I really wish I can meet a really good and nice guy who truely care for me, accept me for who I am, someone who can take good care of me, someone who can cast all my unhappiness aside, someone who can bring joy in my life, I want to meet someone like that, I sincerely pray to God. I really wish I can believe in Love again…………..

 falling snow