Dishes

Did the dishes today. And that has to be enough. Funny how life can be so tough for some people. Was it supposed to be this way? Today, as I held my baby in my arms, I remembered my "history." What was done to me, where I came from. I remembered how it was once my excuse, for how i lived. for the pain I had. now i realize that it doesn’t matter what happened in the past. all I have is now. And I think that what I admire when I look at people on TV who are functioning well: It’s as if, they’ve learned to live with their loneliness. And they’ve moved on. Because I spend so much energy trying to avoid my feelings of loneliness that I have no energy to anything else productive. Like wash my dishes.