Update: my life

“We apologise for the inconvenience”:God’s Final Message, So long, and thanks for all the fish.

I’ll stop with the H2G2 quotes soon, I promise. It’s just the idea of that being God’s Final Message is too funny not to share.

So onto the update.

Not much happened last time I saw the psychotic pigmy. After that me, my housemates and another friend got the fencing out of the back garden. And destroyed some of the guttering at the same time.

The next day, going out to spend the day getting drunk, (we started at 2 and finished about 10:30) we looked for the fence. Guess what?

Some bastard had stolen it!!!!

Honestly, who would do something like that? *Looks away innocently*

Anyhoo, that night one of my housemates got VERY drunk. Zonked out in the toilet. And threw up on the stairs. So guess who slept in the living room that night?

So, I am now home. My dad is trying to get me a job on the site where he is working at the moment. From what I’ve been told, my duties will consist mainly of washing the wheels of the heavy plant machines to try and combat Foot-in-mouth disease. And that’s about it. For this I will be getting paid £70. A day. Six days a week. Tax free. :¬)

Also I made a bet with one of my sisters friends at my sisters birthday party. £5 will be mine if I DON’T sleep with the psychotic pigmy before Christmas. Easiest £5 I will ever win.

Apart from that, my time has been spent lazing around doing nothing (so, no change there then). I am trying to get in touch with a friend, which is not easy when the stupid bastard never switches his mobile on and I have no other contact number for him.

I have also decided not to get too depressed about being single, and to enjoy it instead. I know I have said this before but this time I mean it. If I start to get depressed about that, you have my permission to shoot me.

I will also see about updateing my other diaries soon. If there is a film you would like me to review, let me know and I will do my best.