Tweet you, I won’t do what you tell me…

Gentlemen, relax. Terry is on the pitch, he is *NOT* shagging your missus
about 19 hours ago from mobile web

I can confirm there is no truth to the rumour that Aberdeen have signed the Ross County team from yesterday on loan deals.
about 21 hours ago from mobile web

Spain AND the Czech Republic? Is the universe taking the piss?
about 24 hours ago from Digsby

Free beer is free!
7:14 PM Feb 4th from mobile web

How fucking biased are the commentators towards Spurs? Leeds riding their luck my sharny arse!
8:39 PM Feb 3rd from mobile web

Was right. @WilliamShatner was AWESOME on RAW!
4:12 PM Feb 3rd from Digsby

RT @KOLB3RG:I’m contemplating starting a Mariachi Beatles cover band with Raul McCartney, Jorge Harrison, Juan Lennon, and Gringo Starr….
11:58 AM Feb 3rd from Digsby

No Sam Rockwell best actor? You have to be shitting me.
7:04 PM Feb 2nd from Digsby

RT @The_MediaBlog RT @Davidb15: Note To Sky News: John Terry expecting to play at Hull tonight is hardly worthy of the title “breaking news.
4:13 PM Feb 2nd from Digsby

RT @OHHDLInfo QOTD:”You must take care of your mind on a daily basis. There is more than just money, money, money!”~HH, the Dalai Lama
4:34 PM Jan 31st from Digsby

Email from Tories with subject Message from Davos. What did I think it said? Message from Davros
1:09 PM Jan 30th from Digsby

SNA!
12:53 AM Jan 30th from mobile web

RT @Glinner *We* opposed the war. *We* marched in our millions against it. On 7/7, *we* suffered for *your* decision. #Chilcot
4:05 PM Jan 29th from Digsby

RT @wlmager: What this Blair thing needs is a young lawyer to come out and ask provocative questions until Blair screams ‘YOU CAN’T HAND …
3:03 PM Jan 29th from Digsby

RT @Krud: RT @Sheamus: 1. Go to http://www.google.com. 2. Type “where is Chuck Norris”. 3. Press ‘I’m Feeling Lucky’. 4. You’re welcome.
4:08 PM Jan 28th from Digsby

£9. Nice bonus on top of my teams winning :¬D
11:16 AM Jan 28th from Digsby

Bloke sat next to me looks uncannily like the Master from The End of Time. Should I be worried?
2:43 PM Jan 27th from mobile web

Just once I’d like someone to call me sir, without adding the words ‘you’re making a scene’
1:25 PM Jan 27th from mobile web

And now it’s a shit Bon Jovi cover. What’s the point of 80’s night if you WON’T PLAY THE ACTUAL FRAKKING SONGS?
9:14 PM Jan 26th from mobile web

Sat in t’union listening to a bad cover of… Rick Astley! T’union can’t even Rickroll themselves properly…
9:02 PM Jan 26th from mobile web

Meh. Just, meh
6:25 PM Jan 26th from mobile web

Help! I actually agree with the Daily Heil! Nowt to be done, just shoot me now. It’s too late
1:25 PM Jan 26th from mobile web

In the icy waters of the north Atlantic
2:09 AM Jan 26th from mobile web

Why can we not have the commentators for River Plate – Boca match on Sky?
2:09 AM Jan 25th from mobile web

How the frak did the Leeds goalie not win man of the match?
7:05 PM Jan 23rd from mobile web

Try auditioning for Baywatch then beong told they’re going in a different direction.
11:55 PM Jan 22nd from mobile web

You are whom?
1:31 AM Jan 22nd from mobile web

RIP Damage. True local legend
2:22 PM Jan 20th from Digsby

Trying to decide. Is it Tevez or the missing link?
9:29 PM Jan 19th from mobile web

RT @warrenellis pitching my new TV show THE IT’S REALLY NO DIFFERENT FROM VICTORIANS TOURING ASYLUMS FOR FUN ON A SUNDAY FACTOR
7:52 PM Jan 19th from Digsby

‘So, what did you do for your birthday?’ Well, I sat in a room for two hours listening to my braincells die of boredom…
4:45 PM Jan 19th from mobile web

RT @charltonbrooker: Newswipe! Tonight! BBC4! 10.30pm! With snow! The pantsbomber! Nuclear war! Everything! Don’t miss it!
12:48 PM Jan 19th from Digsby

January 29th, Blair gives evidence to Iraq inquiry. Should be interesting…
1:21 PM Jan 18th from Digsby

People of Boro, rejoice! We finally have a Pot Noodle shop!
11:33 AM Jan 18th from Digsby

Have you no sense of decency sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?
12:31 AM Jan 18th from mobile web

Really should stop looking at this site. Want everything, can afford nothing…
8:15 PM Jan 17th from Digsby

Why the frak are they still playing Xmas music in the union? It’s either late or really, really early…
3:34 PM Jan 16th from mobile web

RT @Bang2write: RT @TheFagCasanova: http://twitpic.com/ybdo0 – The Dangers of Facebook #42: ‘The wrong Jesus’
12:26 PM Jan 16th from Digsby

Peter fucking Jackson must fucking die for what he’s fucking done
9:03 PM Jan 15th from mobile web

Gotta love random NES references on Raw
2:09 AM Jan 15th from mobile web

Currently remembering why I love The Lovely Bones so much. Amazing book
2:46 PM Jan 13th from mobile web

I currently have a slightly swollen face. And a severely bruised ego
12:08 PM Jan 13th from Digsby

Just realised can spend my birthday listening to the music of my youth. Oh. Dear. FSM. Thank frak for lack of DJ
9:18 PM Jan 12th from mobile web

Why the fuck have I been given two tax codes to give to my employer? Haven’t worked there for years for fraks sake!
11:32 AM Jan 12th from mobile web

Do you play the bagpipes? Are you wearing underwear?
11:10 AM Jan 11th from Digsby

I’ve decided. Me+unlimited interweb on phone=bad idea
3:12 PM Jan 10th from mobile web

Raith or Airdrie? I’ll take that 🙂
2:30 PM Jan 10th from mobile web

Come on Hamilton! Beat the Hun bastards!
1:09 PM Jan 10th from mobile web

Please give us an easy draw in the next round of the cup. Please?
12:05 PM Jan 10th from Digsby

Every time I think of exercise, I have to lie right down till the feeling leaves me
9:38 PM Jan 8th from mobile web

One of these is Nitric Acid. Choose carefully
6:18 PM Jan 8th from mobile web

Don’s game is still on tomorrow :¬)
2:56 PM Jan 8th from Digsby

Look out Boro, the slimes coming home!
1:06 PM Jan 6th from mobile web

@WilliamShatner guest hosting Raw. This will be legendary!
11:17 PM Jan 5th from Digsby

What, as opposed to one of those I really, really like you murders?
9:20 PM Jan 5th from Digsby

Fingers crossed, I will make it back to Boro tomorrow
3:38 PM Jan 5th from Digsby

RT @alyankovic http://twitpic.com/wnqm9 – Uh oh. I thought this hiking trail was supposed to be safe.
5:52 PM Jan 4th from Digsby

Still amazed how much Karen Gillan looks like @feliciaday #drwho
5:12 PM Jan 4th from web

RT @ebertchicago: Tidy your screen for the New Year. Takes only a few seconds. http://j.mp/swtke
10:48 PM Jan 2nd from Digsby

YES! We beat the Arab scum!
4:52 PM Jan 2nd from Samsung Mobile

Bit strange, being stood in a pub in Aberdeen watching Boro on foreign tv. Nae complaining though…
3:39 PM Jan 2nd from Samsung Mobile

Hmmm. Well, that should have been about 10 minutes shorter…
8:35 PM Jan 1st from Digsby

HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS!!!3
12:04 AM Jan 1st from Samsung Mobile

if it moves and it shouldn’t, duct tape; if it doesn’t move and it should, WD-40.
7:39 PM Dec 31st, 2009 from Digsby

RT @BrentSpiner: Hip hip hooray! Congratulations to my friend, Patrick Stewart. I cant believe he’s being made King of England!
1:22 AM Dec 31st, 2009 from Digsby

Slightly amused about getting ID’d this afternoon… :¬D
11:57 PM Dec 30th, 2009 from Digsby

if you mixed poison into someone’s corn flakes would that make you a ‘cereal killer’?
3:57 PM Dec 29th, 2009 from Digsby

RT @ebertchicago Why isn’t it being reported that many Iranian demonstrators are secularists fed up with fundamentalism?
5:29 PM Dec 28th, 2009 from Digsby

Mmmmm, rowie!
12:11 PM Dec 27th, 2009 from Digsby

Feels weird, not being down the pub watching Sir Jeff of Stelling.
3:54 PM Dec 26th, 2009 from Digsby

Merry Chrimo everybody!
12:55 PM Dec 25th, 2009 from Digsby

I survived the trip from Hell yesterday
1:46 PM Dec 24th, 2009 from Digsby

This time tomorrow I’ll be back in Aberdeen. After an hour in Edinburgh and another in Perth.
5:11 PM Dec 22nd, 2009 from Digsby

I is an idiot.
11:43 AM Dec 21st, 2009 from web

Fuck you Cowell! RATM #1! Fantastic!
6:53 PM Dec 20th, 2009 from web

http://twitpic.com/u7atl – Since we’ve no place to go…
6:14 PM Dec 19th, 2009 from TwitPic

All profits from #ratm4xmas to be given to homeless charity Shelter. Buy now at http://bit.ly/ratm-itunes @RATM4Xmas
3:49 PM Dec 19th, 2009 from web

Wossy
I would love to see #RATM at numbr one for christmas. Have already downloaded !
2:54 PM Dec 19th, 2009 from TweetDeck
Retweeted by you and 100+ others

RIP Kirsty MacColl. Thanks for the music.
7:40 PM Dec 18th, 2009 from Digsby

The perfect day for angry shouty music. (And, erm, Glee.)
1:45 PM Dec 18th, 2009 from Digsby

We has SNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2:36 PM Dec 17th, 2009 from Digsby

RT @thinkgeek True story: Google has no autocomplete suggestions for “geeks can’t” because *there is nothing geeks cannot do.*
10:02 PM Dec 16th, 2009 from Digsby

Hmmm. One hour to kill in Edinburgh and one in Perth. Anyone got any ideas for stuff to do that doesn’t involve a lot of Tennants?
6:37 PM Dec 15th, 2009 from Digsby

What do you call a tellytubby who has been burgled? A tubby
6:05 PM Dec 15th, 2009 from Digsby

New toy is new. And funky. And cool. And, did I mention new?
8:50 PM Dec 14th, 2009 from Digsby

Giggsy? Sports Personality of the frakking year? WTF for? #spoty
9:07 PM Dec 13th, 2009 from Digsby

The England Ashes team? Team of the year? Frak right off. #spoty
8:51 PM Dec 13th, 2009 from Digsby

Reading the nominees for #spoty left me wondering about half of them: who?
7:53 PM Dec 13th, 2009 from Digsby

No more Glee till April :¬( #foxsucks
12:17 PM Dec 12th, 2009 from Digsby

Google Chrome finally has extentions! Yay!
6:43 PM Dec 11th, 2009 from Digsby

no man is a failure who has friends
5:34 PM Dec 9th, 2009 from Digsby

Just seen a girl wearing a Jayne hat. I think I’m in love…
8:35 PM Dec 8th, 2009 from Digsby

I have some google wave invites to give away if anyone is interested
7:46 PM Dec 8th, 2009 from Digsby

RIP John Winston Churchill Yoko Ono Lennon. We all shine on…
5:19 PM Dec 8th, 2009 from Digsby

That’ll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo!
5:44 PM Dec 7th, 2009 from Digsby

Tubular Bells = awesomeness!
3:00 PM Dec 7th, 2009 from Digsby

Hmmm. To write about a religious cult or not…
7:47 PM Dec 6th, 2009 from Digsby

RT @warrenellis: Santa, NO! http://santano.tumblr.com/
6:31 PM Dec 5th, 2009 from Digsby

Fuck sake Mcghee, get the fucking dicipline sorted!
4:35 PM Dec 5th, 2009 from Digsby

Anyone know where I can get a USA and Algeria footy top?
6:30 PM Dec 4th, 2009 from mobile web

There’s no such thing as normal people, it’s a myth us freaks put out to torture ourselves.
12:54 PM Dec 3rd, 2009 from Digsby

I just generated my #TweetCloud out of a year of my tweets. Top three words: fucking, people, frakking – http://w33.us/24v7
8:30 PM Nov 29th, 2009 from Tweet Cloud

Simple request. Can the union put up one of the table brollies outside?
5:53 PM Nov 29th, 2009 from mobile web

We did it! We beat the fucking Hun twats! Proud sheep shagger
2:51 PM Nov 28th, 2009 from mobile web

C’mon the Dons, beat the Hun BASTARDS!
12:38 PM Nov 28th, 2009 from mobile web

I have a new daddy. Sir Paul McCartney
5:30 PM Nov 27th, 2009 from mobile web

If we have Mother Nature and Mother Earth, does that make the universe a lesbian?
11:09 PM Nov 25th, 2009 from Digsby

Still have a load of Google Wave invites going spare if anyone wants one
9:51 PM Nov 25th, 2009 from Digsby

It’s official. Fox schedulers are complete frakking idiots
8:00 PM Nov 25th, 2009 from Digsby

Anyone want a google wave invite?
1:33 PM Nov 25th, 2009 from Digsby

The Terrible Zodin anniversary issue! http://digs.by/rbY Go. Read. Enjoy
5:47 PM Nov 24th, 2009 from Digsby

I’ve read the first two chapters of Twilight. Please tell me it gets better, please?
4:05 PM Nov 23rd, 2009 from Digsby

Jessica Fletcher is a serial killer!
8:10 PM Nov 22nd, 2009 from Digsby

OpenRightsGroup
Number 10 petition to stop Mandelsons #digitaleconomy bill. Please sign and RT! http://is.gd/50gQK #webwar #threestrikes
11:39 AM Nov 21st, 2009 from web
Retweeted by you and 94 others

Your pacemaker must be a fake, you haven’t got a heart
6:07 PM Nov 21st, 2009 from mobile web

RT @Glinner: This is how Mandy’s friends wish the internet operated. http://i.imgur.com/5RrWm.png #stopmandy #warontheweb
3:01 PM Nov 20th, 2009 from Digsby

You’re on the global frequency.
12:53 PM Nov 20th, 2009 from Digsby

Ain’t nothing wrong with holding onto grief, long as you make room for other things
10:37 PM Nov 19th, 2009 from Digsby

DAMNIT! Ticketmaster won’t accept my card for the Top gear at Mima thing :¬(
2:56 PM Nov 19th, 2009 from Digsby

Naturally! It’s much too dangerous to jump through fire with their clothes on!
4:16 PM Nov 18th, 2009 from Digsby

Anyone know where I can get a safe device for scratching my lugholes?
7:53 PM Nov 17th, 2009 from Digsby

If I had the chance, I’d ask the world to dance
11:00 PM Nov 16th, 2009 from Digsby

RT @NorthEastTweets: Be part of creating an epic poem for the region – #Stockton Borough Council http://ow.ly/CKII (via @StocktonCouncil )
4:54 PM Nov 16th, 2009 from Digsby

#drwho was awesome. Plus, Wilf!
8:15 PM Nov 15th, 2009 from Digsby

Getting ready to watch #drwho on my laptop. Times like this, I wish I had a telly. Then I remember The X Factor…
6:46 PM Nov 15th, 2009 from Digsby

RT @Glinner Sorry to press the outrage button twice on one day, but WHAT THE F**K??? http://ow.ly/C7vM (via @robshepherd) #PaulClarke
1:33 PM Nov 14th, 2009 from Digsby

I still have the use of my penis
2:40 PM Nov 13th, 2009 from Digsby

Farewell #dollhouse. It was fun and you didn’t have much of a chance
9:45 PM Nov 11th, 2009 from Digsby

BTW: I do still have Google Wave invites available if anybody wants…

Will

*EDIT*

Forgot to say before, if you’re on Twitter and want to follow me (and you can see above how scintillatingly awesome I’m not) you can do so here

Will